The feel of him is much different than the thought of him. I imagined our encounter to be uncomfortable and distant, but I crave the comfort he has to offer.
Even with the way I had demonized him, whether consciously or subconsciously, with my face burrowed in his chest I couldn't care less.
Feelings of discomfort and disgust that plagued me before dissipate the second his hand cups my cheek.
"I'm sorry." I whisper into his shirt, fighting tears of overwhelmed guilt and instability.
It's only in this moment I understand how unhinged I've been. How much my mind has actually been pushing me to the edge without my knowing. How I haven't even attempted processing my emotions.
That awareness comes with another kick to the gut.
It adds to my need to gain control.
Ethan pulls away and my arms drop to my sides like dead weight. My head drops and hangs low again.
After the interaction with mom along with the sudden realization that maybe I'm just as off the rails as her, I'm drained of energy.
"Don't be sorry, Paige." Ethan's voice is soft and he uses the hand on my cheek to lift my face for the second time.
"But I am." I whisper, placing my fingers over his own.
"I understand. I want you to know there's no need to apologize, though." He replies, gaze intensifying as he peers into my eyes. "Let's go sit down."
He leads me to a picnic table not too far away from where he was on the swing set. I follow submissively, not showing any restraint as his hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me to his side.
He sits first, lowering me to take a seat next to him. The sun shines, rays showering us in warmth despite the mildly chilly wind.
I let him pull my limp frame close, snug to his side so he can comfortably wrap an arm around my shoulder.
"I should have texted." I admit, resting my head against him, "To be fair, my dad did find out and it wasn't pretty."
I lift my head in time to see his grimace, "I should be the one to apologize. I would be upset if I were in his place. He's kind to not take measures further."
"Take measures further?" I ask stupidly.
"I could be in jail right now." He elaborates with a sigh, "Which is why I felt the need to meet you today. I want us to end on a good note."
His words strike me hard and I feel a bubble form in my throat before I can even process what he said.
"What?" I straighten and turn to face him. The pressure of his arm leaving my shoulder is followed by him adjusting so we're face to face.
"I'm aware of your intentions. I know this needs to stop. We need to stop seeing each other." He swings a leg over the bench and he straddles the wood, resting his elbow on the surface of the table.
"I-I..." I stutter. This is where the path forks into two different directions. I can fight for the difficulties we'll face if we continue any sort of relationship, or I can agree and possibly not see him again.
"I know, Paige." He says quietly and I can only bite my lip in response. "I'm ready to say goodbye. This past week has opened my eyes and...it's okay. It will be best for us both to move on."
"What?" I ask, looking back to him unblinkingly, "So you want to just...move on?"
My question is met with a furrowed brow.
YOU ARE READING
Mr. Halloway's Pet
General Fiction"If you loved me, I wouldn't be a secret." °•°•°•° Paige is the luckiest girl in the world...according to her and maybe every girl in Bishop High-that is if they knew her dirty little secret. Not only is she boning the hottest guy in school, but tha...
