Bitter Sweet

Chapter 1

I feel the waves getting started
It's a rush inside I can't control
Your eyes keep pulling me in
I know, I know, I know

Your friends all talking 'bout me
They say I got no chance at all
Your fire is burning deep
In my soul, my soul, my soul

I ain't up for debating
Ain't enough for the taking
You've got the whole shaking

I closed my eyes and began tapping my fingers to the table as One direction's Wolves blasts into my ears.

In the middle of the night when the wolves come out
Headed straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark
One by one, I gotta take them down
We can run and hide, ain't goin' down without a fight
I hear them calling for you
I hear them calling
In the middle of the night when the wolves come out
Headed straight for your heart
They come straight for your heart
I hear them calling for you
I hear them calling for you

Someone's poking my shoulder, but i didnt mind it. Patuloy parin ang ginagawa niya at hindi ko parin ito pinapansin. Kaya ayun nauwi tuloy sa hampas.

"Aray! What the fück do you want?" iritado kong tanong sabay tanggal sa earphones na nakaplug sa tenga ko.

"I was just asking kung pupunta ka sa party ni Saul sa Saturday?" sagot naman ni Hetal. Bestfriend ko.

"I dont know, i barely even know the guy!"

"C'mon, imposibleng hindi mo kilala si Saul Formante. THE SAUL FORMANTE"

"Ah Saul pala pangalan nun. Akala ko ulul. Mas bagay pa yun no. He looks like a conceited asshole,na akala mo lahat naman ng babae magkakagusto dun. Para bang feeling niya may nakasulat sa noo niyang I AM THE SON OF ADONIS. Kung alam niya lang mas gwapo parin si Fr-- anyways No. I. WONT. GO." matalim kong sabi.

"Woah.. okay..Teka lang girl ah. He asked you personally. Ang swerte swerte mo na nun ha. Kasi ilan lang ang mga babaeng ginagawan niya nun."

"What is that suppose to mean? If i know he just want to get in my pants."

"Hay naku! anyways im gonna go now. In case you change your mind. Call me. okay? bye" she said bago kami nagbeso.

"Bye"

Hay. Ilang taon na ba ang nakalipas noong ginago mo ako Frank? 2? 3? Yeah right. Ian sinong niloloko mo. Kailan ako makakalimot.

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Pag-uwi ko sa bahay. Wala na naman akong kasama. Aanhin ko lahat ng yaman ko kung wala naman akong kasama. Tinawagan ko agad si Mommy kung nasaan siya. Hindi niya sinasagot.

"I'm going out. Dont bother look for me." i beeped her

I immediately called Hetal to inform her i've change my mind.

"Hey what time is the party?"

"8, why?"

i looked at my watch to see what time is it. 7:34

"i've changed my mind. Im coming. Sunduin mo ako. ayokong magdrive"

"Really? Thank god. Pero gaga ka ha. Ginawa mo pa kong driver"

"What? Sige na. Mag-aayos pa ako. Laters" i hang up

Pagkatapos ng usapan namin ni Hetal nag-ayos na ako.

Nagsuot ako ng gray dress. Then partnered with a denim jacket. Then three inch jimmy choo shoes. I put on rin a light make-up then made my hair into a messy bun. Lumabas na ako ng narinig ko ang busina ni Hetal.

"Ready?" tanong niya

"As fuck" sagot ko at pumasok sa kotse niya.

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Sa labas pa lang ng bahay ni ulul,este ni Saul. Dinig na dinig mo na ang kasiyahan nila.

"Tara na?"-hetal

"Yeah"

Habang naglalakad ako, agad kong nakita ang mga taong umiinom. May iba pang nag-mimake out. Like what the fųck?

"Hey girls" bungad sa amin ni Saul

"Enjoying the party?"

"We just got here. Paano namin ma-eenjoy kung kadarating lang namin?" pambara ko dito

"okay then, enjoy"

Kukuha sana ako ng maiinom ng may humawak sa braso ko.

"If i were you i'm gonna remove that fucking hand of yours before i can break it"

"Woah. Feisty. My type of woman"

I let out a sigh
"What do you want?"

"I just want to befriend you."

"Well, sorry i have a lot of friends now so if you excuse me im gonna go get a drink" malumanay kong sagot.

Where the hell is Hetal? Walng yang babaeng yun. Iniwan daw ba ako. Pumunta ko sa mini bar para kumuha ng maiinom. My god ang daminh naghahalikan. Alam ba nila na may kwarto sa bahay ni Ulul para naman dun nalang nila gawin makaraos pa sila.

I dialled Hetal's number. Tawagan ko nalang siya. Tinatamad akong hanapin ang isang yun.

"Where are you?"bungad ko

"Balcony. Ian uso maghanap" sagot nito

"Tinatamad ako. At saka paki mo. Post paid ako, c'mon lets go. At bago ka kumontra. Were not yet going home. We'll go somewhere na mas masaya"

"okay.. wait for me" then she hang up

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"Ian, san ba talaga tayo pupunta." tanong nito

"Hell" i chuckled

"Gaga, sabi mo mas masaya. Hoy Ian, ayoko pang mamatay. Kaya siguraduhin mo lang na masaya to ha."

"We'll go to Valk. My treat"

"ayan ang gusto ko sayo eh."

"Ayan tayo eh.. kapag manlilibre ako saka ka lang magiging mabait."

We arrived at Valk in no time. I entered then went straight to the stall to order a drink.

"Two glasses of Margarita"

I drank my margarita. I empty my glass in just a gulp. I have a low tolerance in alcohol pero i just wanna forget. I just wanna get drunk kahit ngayon lang. Kaya ayun umorder ako ng double black.

" Hetal, huwag kang maglasing ah. Ihatid mo ako sa bahay kung malasing ako."

Hetal understands me. Alam niya lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko. Sa problema ko sa mom ko. Sa problema ko kay Frank. She's like the sister i've never had.

"Ian alam mo kung may problema ka. Ilabas mo lang. Iiyak mo. Hindi yung tinatago mo. Mas lalo ka lang nasasaktan eh." habang hinahagod niya ang likod ko.

Habang umiinom ako hindi ko namamalayang basa na ang aking mata. Hanggang sa sunod sunod na ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko.

"I just cant forget that jerk okay? I loved him. And i still love him. I love him so much it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Si Frank. Naalala ko na naman siya. I thought it will be us till the end. Pero destiny was a fucking bitch. It was exactly three years ago. July 24, 2009. Sana kung natuloy man yun.

It will be our third year wedding anniv. Pero, he ran away. I was like ten inches away from the altar, but then he decided to fucking run away. Hindi man lang siya lumingon. He didn't even bother to apologize or explain. Kung hindi pa siya handa, i can wait for him naman eh. Kahit ilang taon pa yan.

Naghintay ako, sabi ko sa sarili ko na siguro he needs space. I waited for him for so long. Hindi na ulit siya nagpakita. I got tired of waiting. Tao lang din ako, napapagod din. Eh tang*na kung hindi pa niya gusto magpakasal ba't niya ako niyaya!

Ramdam ko na ang pagbigat ng ulo ko. Pagkatapos nito kakalimutan ko na siya. Hindi na ulit ako iiyak dahil sa mga lalaki. Kasabay nito ang pagpikit ng mga mata ko.