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i dont want rejection

It had been a few weeks since we started dating. Today We went to a park and just hung out. Well, more like made out. I was so happy. Too giddy. Things were going good in my life for once. But I was worried soon it would all come to an end. He'd get mad at me. He'd return me. Or turn out not to be the person I thought he was.

He noticed my expression of worry as I lay on the grass.

"What's wrong?" He said. His voice melted me. I sighed

"Nothing." I said. He didn't seem to believe me. "Everything is absoloutly perfect." I added.

He rolled over so he was propped over me, his face millimeters from mine, his nose brushing mine.

"Really?" He said in a non believing tone

"No." It slipped out of my throat. "Crap." I whispered under my breath looking away from his intense gaze that was like a beautiful wrecking ball breaking down all my walls.

"I'll ask again. What's wrong?" He said seriously.

Put up the walls. Put up the walls.

"I... I umm... I c-cant tell you." I stuttered and stalled looking away from him.

"Look at me." he said. I refused, shaking my head a bit.
"Look at me." He said more sternly. When I still wouldn't he used one Hand to continue propping himself up as he grabbed my chin turning it towards him with the other.

He pecked my lips.

"You can tell me." He said softly.

Tears started to spill over as I continued to think about how easily things could be messed up. What if he didn't really care? What if he was going to turn into an abusive boyfriend. Well I mean I don't think he'd really do that. But I can't help but wonder. Or he could just get mad and leave me. Return me.

"Don't leave me. Please." I cried out throwing my arms around his neck and hugging tightly. He sat up pulling me up with him until I was sitting on his lap, crying into his shirt. He held on around my waist.
"
Of course not." He whispered into my ear. "Never. I will never leave you. As long as you don't leave me. Okay?" I nodded.

I feel like I'm being a baby and being clingy but I've been thrown out every time and even then it hurt even though I didn't want them. Being rejected always hurt.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. I told him everything. Everything I was thinking.

"Don't think like that baby girl. Your not being a baby. Your not being clingy. Being rejected always hurts. Especially when you've been rejected so many times before. I get that your afraid. Its ok. Its all ok. Ok babe?" He comforted. I nodded my head. He kissed my cheek.