Sold

Ruined; part 2

I go back to my room and finish cleaning my cuts. I hide the blade in a drawer and clean up the blood all over the bathroom.

I ignore Brandon when he walks back into my room, barely making eye contact with him.

From the glances at him I've taken, he doesn't look mad. He just looks regretful and sorry.

Once I've finished cleaning, I finally turn my attention to Braden.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry izzy. I just, I was mad that you were hurting your self and I felt like it was my fault."

"So because you're mad I'm hurting myself, you hurt me? That makes so much sense." I reply sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I really am so sorry izzy."

"Braden, you scared me. I was afraid of you. I still am a bit. You were the one that was always so sweet to me. You saved me. You fixed me. Then all of the sudden you act like all the rest of them. I just don't know if I can trust you if you act like that every time you get mad at me." I say, never making eye contact.

I risk a glance to his eyes and see nothing but hurt.

I love him, but he acted like every other guy I've ever been with.mit scared the crap it of me. I get that he was mad, but he can't hurt me like that every time he's upset with me or anything.m

I couldn't take my eyes away from his hurt expression. It made my stomach feel like it got pushed off a cliff. I really do feel bad for him. I mean, I'm sure he won't do it again.

I hope not.

But how could you just hurt someone you love?

Maybe he doesn't love me. Maybe that monster was right all that time.

No one will ever love you. Your a worthless piece of $h1+, your just a stupid sex toy.

His words echoed through my head and I felt tears rise to my eyes. I tried my hardest to fight them back.

Braden doesn't love you. Your unlovable. Your worthless.

A single tear finally fell down my cheeks at the realization.

No. Braden has to at least have some sort of feelings for me. If he didn't why would he look so hurt? why would his eyes be so glassy?

Maybe he's just a really good actor.

No, even if he was a good actor, he wouldn't cry.

Or maybe he would.

I frown and finally pull my eyes away from Braden's, battling with myself within my head. I run my fingers through my hair as I feel a heavy weight on my chest and my breathing becomes unsteady. I can't even suck the air into my lungs. It feels like someone's sitting on my chest.

I back up against the wall and slide down it as I place a hand over my chest and try desperately to control my breathing.

"Izzy? What's happening?" I hear Braden's worried voice.

Now he thinks your a freak. Hmhm. Not like he's wrong though.

That little voice on my head picks at me and mocks me. It's my own voice, only it sounds more evil-popular-girl-ish. I squeeze my eyes shut and put my hands over my face.

He thinks your a baby. And you are. Your worthless. Your NOTHING.

The good thoughts are all gone now. Just kicks in the gut.

Your worthless. A pathetic little sex toy. Not a very good one either. Braden just pity's you.

I feel Braden pull me into a tight hug and squeeze me, whispering 'it's ok.' Over and over in my ear. On one of them his voice cracks. The words turn into 'please be ok'. Then, words that I couldn't imagine exiting his mouth, did, and they ran right through my ears. Then heart. Then it sent my stomach into flips. It brought all the air back to my lungs.

My eyes fly open and I smile a bit, all the pain and evil thoughts disappear.

"I love you too." I respond.

Hey! So... That was exciting.

I have a question... Does anyone actually like my book? I wanna know if I should keep writing it or just stop and focus on my other stories. If you think I should do something different, can you please comment? I'd love to hear feedback. Thanks. xoxo 😀