Chapter 28

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The ride to the hospital was quiet. Carlos drove with Isa next to him while me and Ella sat in the back. Ella looked out the window, hiding the fact she was crying, I just stared at my lap. My thoughts raced to the worst possible scenario each time. I kept replaying his radio and how scared and helpless he sounded.

We all walked into hospital. It was cold and full of fluorescent lighting. There was that strange hospital smell that made me sick.

"No visitors at the moment," the receptionist said. "I will update you when I can."

I slumped down in an uncomfortable hospital chair. Isa took Ella downstairs to try and find coffee, and to try and relax her. Carlos sat down next to me.

"You want to hear something?" He said, out of the blue.

"Sure," I shrugged, hoping he would say something to take my mind off things.

"Charles talks about you all the time."

"He does?"

"Yep, quite annoying really," Carlos continued. "Every time you want to have a conversation it's always 'you know what y/n did yesterday?' Or 'y/n painted this amazing picture the other day.' He genuinely doesn't shut up about you."

Something warm and fuzzy grew inside me. I had never known live like this before.

I laughed, a proper laugh. "That accent was horrible," I smiled at the Spaniard. "Thanks for cheering me up Carlos."

"No problem, but if you could tell him to dial it back slightly so other people get a chance to speak, that would be much appreciated."

I thought about Charles again. When you read about men in books, you think you never would find one as perfect and sweet as them, but I had and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

What felt like days past in that waiting room. Caitlin called from her home in Spain, sobbing, saying she'd talked to Lando and had seen everything. I ended up reassuring her that everything would be alright.

Isa had gone home with Carlos, but Fred and Xavier had arrived from the track and had talked to the doctors. Ella sat next to me. She had stopped crying now and was showing me a million videos of her cat, including ones where he was sat on Erling's head and looked like he was 100m off the ground.

Macey had texted me every 10 minutes from some random island in the Mediterranean, checking up on me.

I didn't really know how to feel anymore. I had assessed the room and come to the conclusion that it wasn't as bad as I had thought. There were no loud beeping machines, no running doctors and no screaming, so you took it as a good sign.

A doctor walked out of some double doors, holding a clipboard and a pen. She looked very serious.

"Y/n y/l/n?"

I shot up from my seat, nearly knocking Ella out of her chair in the process.

"Yes," I spoke nervously.

"Mr Leclerc has had a successful surgery and is now recovering," my heart felt as if it was dancing as the words left her mouth. "However, the bottom of his spinal cord was damaged in the crash."

My heart plummeted back down into its deep, dark pit once again. "Wait. His spinal cord? Will he be able to walk again?"

"The surgeons believe that with the right care, he will however it's no guarantee. But, he has many fractures and breaks in his legs and right arm so will need lots of physio to get him back to his full strength."

"But what about the rest of the season?" As I finished speaking, I knew it was a stupid thing to say.

"I'm afraid he will not be driving the rest of this year or next in order for him to be totally healthy," the doctor shook her head. "He is ready for visitors now."

It felt like someone has stood on my heart then thrown it into a corner. Charles will be devastated. Driving was his life, he lived for the thrill and the passion. This would crush him.

Ella came up behind me. The doctor was now busy talking to Fred.

"You going in?" Ella said quietly.

"Yep, just taking a breath first," I smiled at her.

"I'll be right out here if you need me."

I walked through the doors and towards his room. Charles was lying in the bed, wires and machines beeped. His eyes were closed and I could see medical tape above his eyebrow. It broke my heart to see him like this.

"Y/n?" His voice was hoarse and weak.

"Oh my god Charles," I rushed to his side before bursting out crying.

"Hey, hey don't cry, I'm here. I told you I'm not going anywhere," he said, he reached out for my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Yeah but for 6 minutes you weren't, and all I could think about was you not being there anymore," I sniffed. "I was terrified."

"I know, I wasn't too relaxed either," he laughed.

I shook my head. I needed to stop thinking about myself and focus on this man right in front of me. Who knows what he felt in that car. How petrifying to know the engine behind you could explode at any minute.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm hanging in there, they've got me on so many drugs that I can't actually feel much, so we'll see," Charles smiled, he just looked happy to be alive.

"Have the doctors spoken to you, about your operation or anything?" I asked him, the sense of dread creeping into my stomach that I was going to have to be the one to break the news.

"Not yet," my heart dropped for the millionth time today. "But I'm assuming it's not great, considering everything. I don't think I'll be in a car for the rest of this season."

I took a breath before telling him. "No, not this season, or next season either."

His face froze. I bit my tongue as I tried to read the expression.

"What do you mean?" Charles said quietly. "I have to drive next season. It's not an option to miss a year."

"Charles, you damaged your spinal cord, you need proper physical therapy, your legs are broken. You won't be able to walk for a while."

I thought it was best to leave out the "might never walk again part".

"My spinal cord?"

"Yes Charles, so you have to be careful and listen to everything they say," I could see the sense of realisation hit him.

"The crash was that bad?"

"Yeah, we all thought you, you know," I couldn't finish the sentence.

"I don't remember anything."

"I'm glad you don't, but Charles listen to me, the doctors did their best, but it's up to you now. You can still race in 2025."

"Y/n you don't understand," he sounded deflated. "I can't just miss a year and expect to be put right back where I was. That's not how Formula 1 works. They'll replace me."

"Charles they can't just replace you, you are Carlos are the best thing that Ferrari have had in a long time. You are one of the best drivers Ferrari has ever had, and that's a lot, so Fred will find a way to get you back ti full strength."

Charles took a breath. He looked up at the ceiling before squeezing my hand again.

"Thank you, cabbage."

"No, no," I laughed. "Let's not bring that back."

"I say I can, I nearly died, I can say what I want."

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