A-TEEN

d - 5

"please no! think about me!"
"i can't! I can't live without him!"
"Don't do this to me unnie"
"hana, I'm sorry"
"PLEASE DON'T! I NEED YOU!"
"you're my dearest baby, i know you can live on your own"
"unnie, don't, please do not eat that all, you can die they are expired!"
"that's what I'm trying to do hana, I'm trying to die"
"unnie!"

little hana did it, she slapped her sister, her sister who was trying to leave this world forever, that sister who was trying to eat all those expired medicines, her sister who was trying to die.

"I'm sorry hana-yah"
"don't do this to me please"

that slap was hard, but the scars that found it's way to their heart, they were harder to get rid of, it hurted so bad.
this wasn't the first time this happened, 9 year old do hana went through this so many times, it hurted everytime.

I am do hana. This is the chill outgoing hana everyone sees in school, this is the Hana who is hiding so many dark secrets behind her smile, behind her beautiful smile.

The real me - II

Year 2015
In the mid-september

"hana-yah, you don't study at home dear, i have no option but to send you to coaching classes"
"A coaching class? Like where unnie goes to??"
"Similar, but no, i got a better one for ya"
"woahhh, this sounds fun!"
"you're going to go there from tomorrow, okay?"
"yayy"

who knew that the coaching classes would prove to be extremely terrifying for her?

"hana you can sit next to sang won"
"sang won oppa? alright. why are there just we two as students miss?"
"It's because I just started this coaching, also, just calling me aunt"
"okay aunt! :)"

months passed by, nothing happened. but it was terrific for hana for a reason :-

February 2016

"hana yah, do you want to talk about something?" 11 year old sang won whispered in hana's ears when their teacher was away for a while
"Like what oppa?" little hana whispered back
"first of all, games"
"that sounds funn"
"second, s*x"
"what is that?"
"oh you'll know"
"Okay let's get back to studies students"
"yes aunt"

few days passed by

"hana do you know? i watched a video"
"ohh what was it?"
"there was a guy and a girl....."

all hana could do was smile and simply nod. afterall, a 9 year old won't understand a thing if you tell them about what tf happens when two people fuck each other. This is exactly what sang won did for few days. but things changed after like a month. These were not just conversations anymore.

"hana, do you know what he did then?" "what?"

he did it then, he did it for the first time, that bastard touched her. ofcourse she couldn't understand what was happening to her! she couldn't even stop it! she was scared, she was scared everytime he touched her inappropriately, but she could do nothing about it.

Although she did not know what was happening, she felt it was her fault. She did feel like punching him straight into his face, but she couldn't.
She couldn't tell it to her mother as well, although her mother did say-
"hana, if someone touches you and you don't like it, specially if it's a boy, tell me first"