Homesick

An Offer

"What?"

It was impossible for me to believe what I heard. My friend Nicholas wanted me to travel in the Twinkie, (his van), with him.

"I know it's crazy, but I won't be wallowing around wondering what could have been."

My spontaneous behavior is nonexistent. For eighteen years, my parents ruled my life. The thought of rebelling more than I have already by taking a year off terrified but electrified me.

"When would we leave?"

Nick looks at his watch and smiles slightly as he states, "Around midnight."

"Midnight?" I accidentally say too loudly.

I see a few people looking at me disapprovingly one of them being my father.

"I know it's soon but it's better to ask forgiveness than permission."

I can't deny that and it applies to most people, but when it comes to forgiveness from my parents, it is a foreign concept. It took everything for them to not kick me out after I told them I wasn't planning on going to college right away.

"Nick, you know how my parents are. Me leaving would be a death wish," I say shaking my head.

"I know, and if you don't wish to come that's fine but I would want nothing less than for my best friend to come along and see the world with me."

 Nick looks at me longingly. I want to tell him I can go, that I am more than ready -- but I can't. Of course, the offer is tempting. I just am afraid to make the jump.

Klara comes to us holding one of my grandparent's diamond cups and it's filled with dark liquid."I can't believe they thought I was 23!" She says.

I and Nickalos share a disapproving look and laugh.

As I stare at the dark brown liquid, I wonder, "What exactly is that?"

"Pure bliss," Klara says with a big grin.

"That's tempting. I might need some" Nick shrugs

"You don't want to be hungover, you have a big night ahead"

"What? What's tonight?" Klara asks with her eyebrows lifted.

"Right, I forgot to mention--- I'm planning to take the Twinkie and go on a trip for the summer"Klara looks confused. "Go..where?"

"Just anywhere that's not here, see stuff you know?"

"When were you going to tell me.. and how did Charlotte know already?" You can hear Klara's hurt.

For some backstory, Klara has loved Nickalos since joining our duo during our freshman year of high school. She used to talk to me every day about how Nickalos acted towards her that day and how he must be into her. Klara after 2 years of waiting for him decided she was over him or that's what she told me at least.

I could tell Nicklaus didn't mean to hurt her feelings. He never intentionally hurts people.

"While you were getting a drink the topic came up. He was planning on telling you"

Klara nods and Nick gives a look that says 'Thank you.'

"Since the subject came up, how would you feel about coming along? Lotte might come along you know how her parents are though"

"I'd just love to --- just text me the info.. and I'm gonna get another drink!" Klara says walking off again.

Before I knew it I heard a glass being tapped.

A toast.

I hate having attention on me and considering this is my graduation party, I can only assume it's for me.

Everyone goes to the living room to find my parents and grandparents in the middle of a circle of overly dressed people.

My father locks eye contact and waves me over.

"I'd just like to say thank you for everyone coming here to celebrate my lovely granddaughter, Charlotte Rose Evermore."

I feel everyone's eyes on me and the red flush on my cheeks.

"We are so proud of you, my Char bear. Cheers to you for carrying on the Stanford legacy and making your family proud."

I feel guilty about lying to my grandma. I did get accepted into Stanford but decided I needed time to find myself and take a year or not even go to college--- but to my family, that means I'm trying to throw away my life. I hold in the tears that threaten to spill out of my eyes.

I look around the overly crowded room with blurry eyes and find Nickalos and Klara and feel calmer. They both try to smile reassuringly.

Everyone raises their glass and takes a drink, and my father embraces me coldly.-The car ride home is worse than the one to my grandparents' house. There is almost no silence just my parents making hurtful comments begging me to change my mind. I feel for them truly. They've imagined my life to be perfect--- and I've shattered their vision.

I plop down on my bed and take a deep breath. My room is the only place in my house I don't have to pretend.

I checked my phone 3 missed messages.

---

2:00 pm Nick - See you tonight

2:15 pm Me - thank god!!! i can't imagine being at this graduation party alone. 

Missed message 

9:30 pm Nick - Should I swing by at 12 or not?

10:00 pm Me - it's better to ask forgiveness than permission right? 😬

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Missed message 

9:00 pm Klara - GIRL YOU HAVJGHGE TO COME ON THE TRIP PLEASEEJEJEE

10:00 pm Klara- i lobe yjou bitch i couldn't survive being in a van wit just nickalos 4 te whole summaa

 Me - you're drunk, and i love you too 🙄

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