Her Disorder

Chapter 4: Talks

Evelyn

"Do you think she'll wake up soon"I heard a worried female voice ask? "Don't worry honey she'll be up in no time" a male voice responded sounding as equally worried as the female. It had to be my parents. They were talking about me, weren't they. Of course, they were who else would they be talking about in my hospital room. "You know I can hear you right" I whispered out not opening my eyes just yet. I knew once I did the bright light was going to hit me.

"Sorry honey I thought you were asleep" my mother whispered softly coming closer by the bed. Slowly opening my eyes adjusting them to the blinding light I gave my mom a soft smile. "You gave us a big scare kido" my father said sitting a little farther back. "I know I'm sorry,"I said looking away from them, disappointed. "It is not your fault just tell us what happened and everything will be okay," my father said softly coming closer towards me. But I didn't respond instead I stayed silent watching my heart monitor.

"Roy do you think I can talk to her for a minute," my mom asked my dad. Giving my mom a look he eventually nodded and my mom turned my head to look at her directly in the eyes. "There are a lot of broken and hurt bones, Evelyn," my mom said sadly. "You even had a panic attack yesterday" she whispered her voice coming out softer, "I'm sorry I haven't been there to notice" she cried out leaning towards me.

My mom wasn't really the type to cry so I knew this was serious. And I couldn't help but feel bad like this was my fault. In a way, it was though. "I know about the bruises on your arm, I saw them I just reapplied your makeup for your father's sake now it's time you start telling me the truth Evelyn," my mom said letting out muffled sobs in between words. She knew. My mom knew about the bruises and scars I thought. But I still couldn't tell her.

What was there to lose though. I mean I lost all hope in myself. My best and only friend left me. My brothers gone. What makes it worse my parents look terrified that I'm going to vanish at any second. "I just, I think I need to leave for a while, "I told my mom my voice hoarse and dry. Maybe starting over would be good for me just me by myself and starting a new life. Maybe I can finally be happy starting off with a clean slate.

"What" my mom choked out looking at me with puffy eyes. "Mom I can't stay here, I just can't everything it's just" I took a deep breath feeling myself start to cry "it's too much for me,"I said starting to sob as my mom pulled me in for a hug.

"Shh honey it's okay" my mom whispered to me continuing to hug me. "I don't know what's been going on but if it's serious I'll talk to your dad and see what we can do okay," she said. "Thank you" I whispered wiping away my tears. We stayed in silence for a while not one of us saying a word but I was grateful for it. It was a nice moment of peace. After what felt like hours my mom had to leave. 

"I have to get going I'll be back to check on you later, be safe okay," my mom said standing up straightening out her outfit, trying not to look like she'd just been crying. "Okay bye, mom I'll see you later, "I said waving bye to her as she walked out.

It was unbelievably quiet for the remainder of the time and I couldn't help but think. Was I even making the right decision?

Of course, you are who will miss you anyway

No one. I was making the right decision. Besides I had no one left. Besides my parents but they didn't count. I didn't think they had a choice to leave me.

Staring up at the ceiling I started to sob as everything that has happened played in my head like a movie. I hated this. My life was horrible. I was alone with no one. I hated what has happened to me but most importantly I hated myself.