Her Disorder

Chapter 1

                                                                                       Evelyn

Eyes were on me I could feel it. Holes burning through the back of my head. Feeling like I was supposed to fall to the ground dead at any moment. Of course, that'll never happen though because I was just at school. Here to just to get an education and I could leave, never see anyone of these people again and I needed to remember that.

Suddenly I felt someone roughly shove me I tumbled down towards the floor hearing laughter echo throughout the halls. " Pig. " Casey laughed out crouching towards my level. Her blue angry blazing eyes staring back at me. " You're disgusting " she spat out laughing along with everyone else until the bell rang and everyone cleared the hallway, not even sparing me a glance. I was a no one to them I already knew that but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

I was angry at myself for even letting myself be treated this way. What was stopping me from fighting back and defending myself? Nothing. I don't even know how it got this bad. It started with a little teasing that I ignored and suddenly I got to this. It was my fault I told myself though. Why wasn't I strong enough to defend myself. To just yell back at her or even just hit her and maybe they'd stop, or maybe it'd get worse a voice in the back of my head said 

I knew I wasn't like other people. I was slightly overweight definitely not skinny and not fat. Or maybe that was just something I told myself. I was a bit closer to the chunky side though but no one ever let me forget it. At school of course. My parents told me I was beautiful but at school, it was a different story. I was called a pig, worthless, a freak, and anything horrible you can think of. Ever since I was five I was told this and I never knew what I did to get people to hate me but I did. Maybe I was just their entertainment. 

Sitting up against the lockers I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. " What's up dork " I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes glaring at Carver. "Sorry I was joking not funny I get it," he said sitting beside me. Even though I didn't have many people by my side I had Carver. Carver is my friend, only friend really. Well, kind of I guess. You see Carver has a reputation around school. Yes, what a cliche but it's true. He's known as a class clown who never listens and is always in trouble.  He lives up to the title fighting, drinking, smoking, partying you name it he does it, but he always was so kind to me. Not that I ever understood why. 

The complicated thing about our friendship is he loves living up to his title. Me being his friend would ruin it and I understood so when people are around he avoided me like the plague and when people were gone we stuck to each other like glue.

I was actually the one to suggest that idea to him. He didn't agree right away but when he did I was slightly relieved. I mean what if he didn't agree, then what? He loves being a "bad boy " and I was afraid he would choose it instead of me so I came up with the idea. Even though it hurt that he didn't stick up for me I guess I understood why he didn't. Why ruin his life just to help me.

" Eve your doing it again," Carver said letting out a laugh. " Sorry," I said giving him a sheepish smile feeling my mood lift up. " Hey how about we ditch and go to my house and have a Disney marathon, " Carver said nudging my side playfully. That was another thing about our friendship. We never went out in public where people would see us. Our parents knew we were friends but that was about it.

I always just assumed he didn't want to embarrass himself with me so I shrugged it off. I mean could I blame him? But watching Disney movies was our thing so I looked on the bright side. Realizing I was in my thoughts for a while I looked over to Carver who was waiting for a response. " Yeah let me just get my stuff I'll meet you in the back," I said walking off.

" Eve," Carver said but I shooed him towards the back of the school to get his car. I took my time getting my stuff knowing Carver was going to take his time because his car was all the way in the front. Why drive towards the back of the school then? Well, I don't want people to see me so I go to the back, saving Carver from embarrassment.

Opening my locker I grabbed my book bag throwing it over my shoulder as I walked towards the back of the school. I didn't have to worry about getting caught because our school wasn't really known for a good security system. You could up and leave whenever you want and no one will ever catch you. Seeing a black car in the distance I walked closer and closer towards the back.

Pushing open the glass door I paused looking at my reflection I could practically hear the whispers that I heard over the years or should I say minutes ago. " Miss.Piggy ", " fat ", "worthless ", " disgusting ". " Eve " I heard Carver call out. Snapping my head up I saw Carver who was waving his hands around like a maniac trying to gain my attention.

I flushed in embarrassment as I quickly rushed towards the car. "Sorry I was just thinking " I apologized. "What about, " Carver asked. I smiled remembering how Carver always asked about how I was and always wanted to talk about me. "Nothing important " (lie) I whispered as I took a look out the window. I guessed Carver knew I wanted to be in silence so he stopped asking me questions.

Once we got to his house I walked upstairs to his room getting comfortable on his bed waiting for him to come. "Glad you made yourself comfortable without me " Carver said putting in a random movie. " Aww it's okay Momo you can sit right here," I said patting the spot next to me. "Not that again " Carver groaned hearing the nickname I gave him.

I could remember it like yesterday when I was a little girl at the park sitting in the sandbox when a boy about seven years old came up to me introducing me and his friend. " My name is Carver and this is my friend Momo," he said holding up a giant brown bear.

He actually still has the bear believe it or not. Of course, he doesn't know I knew. He hides it in the back of his closet but I never told him. " Eve " Carver called out. " Sorry, sorry " I apologized for zoning out. Hearing the movie start I shushed Carver and laid my head on his shoulder seeing Pocahontas starting. Carver knew Pocahontas was always my favorite so we watched it over and over again.

It always remained my favorite because it wasn't like all the other Disney movies it was different. Pocahontas never had a happy ending not that I didn't want her to but she didn't. John Smith had to leave making Pocahontas stay back and that's when it ended and it told me that not all stories have happy endings. Then again I got older and knew the real story which was equally as horrible. 

We stood watching movie after movie all day losing track of time. " Hey, it's already twelve at night " Carver whispered. My eyes went wide hearing that and I looked outside seeing it was indeed dark outside. " I should get going," I said getting up.

" Let's go I'll drive you," Carver said grabbing his car keys. Nodding I sent my mom a quick text telling her I'm on my way home and rushed towards the car. Before I knew it I was already home waving by to Carver as I stepped inside the house. " Next time young lady I want a phone call you're going to be late," my mom said scolding me.

Apologizing I walked up to my room closing the door softly behind. Grabbing my pajamas I walked to my bathroom changing. While I was changing I looked at the side of my rib. There was a long scar down it. And I remember I was the one who did it. It was last year when I thought cutting would get rid of the pain so I cut the side of my rib. And let me tell you it didn't help me.

I realized other people aren't worth hurting myself. After that day I vowed to never harm myself ever again and I haven't done it since. Shaking my head I laid in my bed going to sleep but not before I heard the words from this morning.

" Miss piggy "

" Fat "

" Disgusting "

" Pathetic "