Fair maden (Stan Marsh x reader) (based on the black Friday episodes)

3- Titties and Dragons

I wake up peacefully, I feel like I'm being cuddled, I assume that's just my weighted blanket until I realise, nope, I'm wrong. I'm being cuddled by Stan, I was the little spoon. I don't want to move, but I know I should, what if Cartman comes in?

"Stan, Stan wake up." I whisper, gently shaking Stan. He lets out a little groan. "Stan, please wake up."

"Huh? What?" Stan opens his eyes and shoots up. "Oh crap, did I fall asleep with you? I need to get out of here." I hear footsteps get closer to my room.

"In my wardrobe, now." I whisper, pushing him towards my wardrobe, the footsteps grow closer and Stan closes the door behind him.

"Y/n! They've moved the date of Black Friday, however, it means the first 100 people get 98% off!" Eric says, bursting through my door.

"Oh! More time to plan and train then, I guess."

"You bet your ass it is. Everyone's downstairs already, grab whatever you need to and come down." Eric leaves my room.

"You can come out." Stan exits the closet and looks at me.

"We have a small problem, I can't get out. If I tried to get out your window, I'd jump into a backyard filled with Xbox fanatics, If I try to leave out the door, Cartman will catch me." He's right, he's kind of trapped here. "The thing is, if I stay here instead of trying to leave, my team will be left without a leader, with princess Kenny going off and saving the world and all."

"Listen, I'll figure something out, ok? Just wait here a moment." I walk out my room and knock on my aunt's door. After a small moment, she opens her door. "Lets say, hypothetically, a guy that I like snuck into our home and can't get out without Eric noticing, would you help without telling Eric?"

"Well of course dear, I did the same thing when I was your age."

"Great yeah, can you help me sneak a guy out then? He's in my room right now." Ms. Cartman walks over to my room and opens the door to see Stan.

"Stan? That's the last person I expected. Anyway, come with me Stan." They walk off to my Aunt's room and Stan sneaks out the window to the front of the house. "Bye, get home safe!" I rush down the stairs into the back garden, I see everyone and the ladder that had fallen from Stan visiting me last night.

"He did what? He flew down in a parachute and he what?" Eric holds his nose like he's trying to supress the headache he got from the idiocy of the story.

"Apparently, he stopped Microsoft from blockading the shipment of PS4s to the mall. Looks like he's all over the place winning the console wars for Sony." Who is Clyde talking about? Princess Kenny?

"Because what- because he's cute?" Eric looks like he's had enough of Kenny's BS.

"Cartman, he's got everyone on Sony's side. We can't stop him!" Kyle adds.

"But what does he do besides that he's cute?" Ms. Cartman cuts Eric's thoughts off.

"Sweety, Bill Gates is on the phone for you." Bill fucking Gates? Since when did he get involved? I've clearly missed a lot.

"Tell Bill Gates to suck my ass, mom!" Ms. Cartman begins to walk away and Eric thinks about what he just said for a moment. "Mom? Don't seriously tell Bill Gates to suck my ass, tell him everything's cool and I'll call him in a little bit." He clearly doesn't want Bill Gates to hear him say 'suck my ass' it wouldn't exactly help our side of the fight.

"This would never have happened if you would have let Kenny be a Princess in the first place." Kyle seems to agree with me that Kenny should have been a princess all along.