Like Fire and Powder (Violent Delights Book 18)

Chapter 11: the meteor shower according to House York and House Tudor

Elizabeth York

"Did you know there's supposed to be shooting stars tonight?" I ask Henry, over supper. Parliament has been in session for about a week which means he's working all day, but he usually tells us to come and dine with him if we feel like waiting for him and the men to be finished.
"Elizabeth I didn't know it was a fast day till you explained why there's all this eel on the table," he sighs, "No of course I didn't know that."
"Do you not like eel or something?" I ask.
"It's fine. I mean no, I had a lot of it as a child, that and rabbit so I've little taste for it. Pike is fine," he says, rubbing his face, "Sorry. I'm terrible company tonight."
"I was only leading up to asking if you'd mind if Cecily and I went outside later and watched for shooting stars as it's clear and the astrologer said we might see them?" I ask, taking the eel from his plate and replacing it with pike while he rubs his already red face.
"Why would I mind? You don't have to ask my permission if you want to go out with your sister, do. You're not my wife yet and even if you were you could go outside if you wished to," he says, face still in hand, generally confused, "I'm not your jailer, I don't tell you where to go or what to do with your time I don't—,"
"You've no idea we're confined to our rooms at night, do you?" I cut him off, because he was going to go on.
"I'll kill him," he breaths, immediately blaming his uncle, whose fault it is.
"There's guards outside who will escort us places if, according to them, you say we can go there. This could be our mother's room, or to see you, and once they let me go to the library but we can't actually go where we wish I realize it's for security reasons," I say.
"Oh. That's not as bad as I thought," he says, raising his head.
"What did you think?"
"Oh nothing. I know him. Nothing," he says, "I'll tell them yes that that's more generally speaking and to expand upon it."
"I really didn't want to try and ask and be told no and then have to bother you later," I say.
"You're not bothering me—but yes I'll make sure they're aware it's more protection and not restricting your movements as may have been implied."
"You can restrict my mother's movements," I say.
He smiles a little, "My mother's movements aren't restricted."
"I thought she left?" I frown.
"Yes, thank god, she'll be back for Christmas. Then hopefully the wedding before Lent," he says.
"No word on the dispensation?" I ask.
"No, I mean I can get it locally but it needs to be done properly, I think that the english government has had enough claims of improper marriages and illegitimacy," he sighs.
"No, that makes sense I'm just making conversation," I say.
"No, do, the part where I found out my uncle barricaded you in your rooms like he implied he didn't was lovely. And informative. I'm pleased he just almost barricaded you in your rooms rather than completely doing it like I told him not to," he says.
"Why was there discussion of barricading us in?" I ask.
"My uncle has spent a rather long time preserving me. I may not have been very level headed in my youth," he says.
"I'm honored the terrible Jasper Tudor considers me an assassination threat," I say, amused.
"Good. That's a good way to react to it. All right," he sighs.
"Do you want to come and join us looking at the stars?" I ask. Cecily will mind but I'll tell her not to. "We don't know if there'll be anything, really."
"No. No, I should work. I have work to do," he shakes his head, "Tell me about it tomorrow all right?"
"Yes. But if so you owe me a story," I say.
"What kind?" He frowns.
"A happy one, how about that," I say.
"You're on. And I'll go tell the guards that, don't—if they're being ridiculous come see me. I shan't be that busy—have you seen the culprit himself?" He asks, looking around for his uncle.
"No, I heard him telling my sister he wasn't coming to dinner."
"Why was he talking to your sister?"
"She was crying and he wanted to cheer her up. But she was only crying about a puppy that was very small but it did cheer her up."
"Ah, good to know," he nods, "He'll turn up eventually."

Jasper Tudor

"There you are, you dumb drunks," I say, feeling behind the barely concealed stone. In a forgotten passage just past the kitchens. This one stone that was just loose enough to hide a stolen flask of wine behind. And here it is. Covered in dust, safe as the day I left it there.
Some forty odd years ago.
"There, now no one will know we took it," I said, pushing the stone back in place.
"Why?" Harry asked, bouncing, "They could find it."
"No one is going to find it. And even if they do, how can they accuse us of taking it and hiding it there? That doesn't make sense why would we take it just to hide it?" I asked, "We'd drink it we're idiots."
"I wanted to drink it."
"And that's Butler's and he'll gut us both," I said, wiping my dusty hands on my tunic, "Now why were you crying? Was someone cruel to you?" I'd had my Latin lessons and he'd been supposed to be practicing the sword with the other boys.
"Crying?" He frowned, chewing his lip and bouncing more, "Oh. I'm not allowed to go outside at all and I wanted to watch the Tears of St. Lawrence tonight."
"Why aren't you allowed outside?" I asked, that was new, "Is it because you stabbed four people?"
"Five now. Yes. Five," he nodded, counting on one hand. "But I really really really really wanted to go outside and watch the sky I like talking to the sky you know this Jas but now I'm not allowed outside at night for two weeks they said I couldn't ride if I got caught out in the courtyard again, with or without but it was specified mostly with you—,"
"We don't have to go outside to talk to the sky," I said, smiling.
"Yes we do there's no sky inside I know how ceilings work I love roofs not ceilings they get in the way of the sky," he said.
"I know. We're going to the sky, just follow me," I said.
"The guards are going to stop us they all know I'm not allowed outside and you know I get lost," he said, "I'm no good with directions I can't even find my own room the only thing I can ever find properly is you."
"I'm not going to lose you, take my hand," I said.
He grinned finally wiping away the last of his tears and wrapping his cold fingers through mine.
"Let's go to the sky," I said, and we took off running. Down the back hall as servants shouted at us that we'd better not be going outside.
And then down a set of stairs towards the kitchens.
"Why are we going down we're meant to be going up?" Harry laughed.
"Because if they think we've down this way they'll never imagine where we're actually headed, which is to the stars," I said, laughing.
The kitchen was fully busy despite the time of night. Bread for the next day, cleaning up, all manner of chores going on. We naturally bolted right through it, giggling, hands still interlocked, so I wouldn't lose him. Because what he said was true he did get lost so very easily. He had no sense of direction. But be it in the middle of the Snowdonia's or hiding someplace from our fathers in Windsor, he could always find his way to me.
By then a good set of people were actively looking for us, his father had servants dedicated not to losing him and by extension me. And of course we got ourselves lost at every available opportunity. Well. Lost to them. To us we were perfectly found.
"This way this way," I said, tugging him back up a set of stairs I'd not planned on originally using.
"Why?"
"That was your actual dad," I laughed, bolting up the stairs then immediately turning around when we nearly ran directly into one of my servants.
"JASPER TUDOR YOU WERE MEANT TO BE IN BED HOURS AGO!"
"I don't know who that is!" I called, making Harry laugh uncontrollably.
I knew that castle better than I knew my own mind. I was nothing like lost, and none of them could catch us, not if I didn't wish it. It was our own kingdom and just for one night we were kings of it. You are when you're twelve, and you're running places with your best friend, laughing, unaware of what tomorrow brings. Perhaps it doesn't matter what the tomorrows brought us. Then we only knew that night. And we had far too few of them.
We packed into a closet, giggling, as a couple of palace knights passed us.
"The Exeter boy isn't loose is he?"
"Butler said he'd be locked up and nowhere near Tudor. There's no way they found each other."
We bolted out of the closet, laughing. Of course we'd found one another. Predictable as Sunday mass us. We were not only together we were gleefully causing trouble.
We ran down another spiral stair running directly into a couple of Warwick's servants.
"YOU ARE BOTH SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED!"
"WE'LL TELL THE KING THIS TIME, TUDOR!"
We ran out into another hall, and narrowly avoided crashing directly into Cardinal Beaufort.
"As you were, my lords," he said, as we skidded past him mumbling our apologizes.
"Did they go this way—?"
"Whom?" The Cardinal asked, stepping in front of our pursuers.
"The boys!"
"What boys?" The Cardinal for whatever reason sympathized with our mission. Not that he knew what it exactly was. Or perhaps he had a good enough guess.
We ran up another set of stairs, the last one, forced to duck into the hall for a moment as people passed. Then finally we made it up to the roof. A door that I wasn't meant to go out of but in a fit of boredom one night I'd snatched the keys and undone the lock.
And we stepped out into the clear night. Ten thousand and one stars shining overhead.
Harry stepped forward, eyes shining with reflected starlight. St. Lawrence's tears rained down, brilliant and bright against the blackness of the heavens. So far above our heads, so unfathomable, yet perfectly beautiful.
"It's perfect Jas," Harry said, softly, hand still clinging to mine, he looked down, "You're not looking at it."
"It's your sky," I said, I was watching him enjoy it. He loved looking at the stars.
"It's yours too. I tell the stars about you," he said, wrapping his arms around me and nestling his head on my shoulder. "Someday when father gives me my own estate you can come and live with me and we'll talk to the stars every night together."
"Yeah all right. I think I'm free," I said, hugging him back. He always gave nice, firm hugs, like he was holding me together. Sometimes it felt like it. I sighed, leaning against him. The night air was cool, and clear. Not too cold so not many fires going, or much smoke to obscure the view. I breathed it in, sighing a little, I could feel his heartbeat against my ribs as he leaned against me contentedly, idly chewing on the edge of my tunic.
"Here," I said, moving his hand over my chest, "Can you feel my heart? I can feel yours."
"Yes. Yes it's very pretty," he said, squeezing me a bit tighter, "Promise you won't get tired of me, Jas? Only I talk a lot, I talk all the time and I do get into trouble very very very very very often and I know I'm a pain and loud and I don't sleep much and I often don't stop talking and—,"
"And nothing. You're my best friend. You always will be," I said, looking up at the stars, "And someday, when we're really old, and probably scarred from all our adventures. We'll go get Butler's wine I hid, and we'll get drunk, and you can talk to the stars all night long. Because we'll still be best of friends."
"Good, I want to be. I don't like being alone. It's cold. And there's no one to talk to and things in my head get all mixed up," he said, still staring at the heavens, "And I'd never have found my way out here without you. I don't do so well on my own."
"That's why you've got me, haven't you? Talk all night long, I like to hear it," I said.
"Do you? Because I had a lot to say—,"
"I do. I promise, I'm no good with quiet," I said.
And he did. He talked to the stars for a couple of hours before the inevitable batch of servants commissioned and led by Butler himself and Harry's brother William, finally followed a very convoluted trail of irritated castle residents all the way to us.
William picked us each up by the balled up backs of our tunics and hauled us all the way inside and downstairs.
"Were we not supposed to do that—?" I asked.
"We weren't outside," Harry said.
"Because nobody told me not to do that and I will pray for guidance, because I truly do not want to transgress—,"
Four people, "Shut up, Jasper."
"You don't have to wake my brother the king I will gladly confess all for I was unaware of any wrongs—," I began.
"Shut up Jasper Tudor before I wake your father," Butler snarled.
That did shut me up. I knew my father would lash me for it himself he didn't need a clear reason he'd assume I was off being naughty.
They did not have to wake my brother the king, because despite the late hour my brother the king was still up, very happily surrounded by parchments, abacus before him, working on funding his colleges. His best mate, another Harry the son of his old sword master, was with him drinking wine. That Harry upon seeing the entire situation occurring but mostly the pair of us, began laughing so hard he had to turn away from the scene.
"Your Majesty you said to let you know if one of your brothers caused mischief as you did not want them lashed unless you'd spoken to them?" Butler said, pained, wanting to lash me so badly. He was one of the nobles instructed with supervising some of my lessons and Harry's so he quite earned a place in heaven.
"Yes of course not, poor things they look tired," my brother said, rocking on his heels as he knelt on the floor.  William made a strangled noise. He'd chased us half the length of Windsor; he was tired.
"They were running in weird loops around the castle, giggling, and nearly running into people," Butler said.
Long pause. My brother the king was clearly lost in thought. Every word sent his Harry laughing more.
"And—?" My brother prompted, helpfully.
"Admittedly it doesn't sound as annoying when you say it," William said.
"You two should be in bed, you have lessons tomorrow don't you?" My brother asked.
"They don't have lessons tomorrow," Butler said, voice strained. He said it not because we did not in fact have lessons, but because he sincerely hoped he'd kill us by morning, and if he didn't succeed in doing that then he definitely didn't want to see our stupid faces at sunrise in a few hours.
"Oh. Well then if they don't have lessons I'm sure the boys were only exhibiting youthful exuberance," my brother the king said.
This response and the obvious depression it caused in our captors, set my brother's Harry off laughing even harder so much he had to lean against the wall with his fist in his face.
"We were, your grace," I said.
"Oh yes," Harry just agreed.
"Now I don't want either of you getting underfoot, but if you were merely enjoying each other's company in a calm and pleasant manner I see no issue," my brother said, reasonably.
"It's two hours to sunrise," his Harry wheezed.
"Oh. Is it? Well I lost track of the hour I'm sure the boys did, Butler, you should be in bed it's late, William I know your father doesn't want you working this late," my brother said, nicely.
"Yes. I was supposed to be in bed hours ago," Butler said, "I was prevented. There were a pair of lunatic children running through the halls."
"Oh I see. Well don't concern yourself with all that I'm sure the children's nurses will find them and chastise them appropriately," my brother said, going back to his work, "Have supper with me tomorrow Jasper, bring your Harry if you like. For now the two of you should probably rest I'll be turning in myself soon—Harry are you all right?"
His Harry was laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face and he had to sit down.
"I'm fine," he choked, "Thought of something funny. Don't look at me like that Butler, you know I love you."
"Well, let the boys go," my brother the king said.
"Thank you, brother," I bowed quickly, so did Harry. Then we retreated to the hall.
"Don't you two DARE—," was all Butler got out before we bolted. I took firm hold of Harry's wrist, and laughing, we sprinted towards the nearest stairs.
"Just let it go. Hope they fall off that fucking roof," William sighed.
We didn't fall off that fucking roof. We did go directly back up to it though, hands entwined, laughing and breathless. 
"Where are we going?" Harry laughed.
"To your stars of course, they're still there for a while longer," I said, grinning.
The stars were there for a few more hours. We fell asleep up on that roof, him cuddled up next to me with his head on my chest, my arm around him securely as we stared up at the heavens. Not the first or the last time I fell asleep to the sound of his voice. But it was far too few times.
I'm standing at the pond, out past the trees. The pond where he taught me to swim one dreamy summer day. Now it's almost frozen over. Starlight reflected in the black water. There's more fire in the sky, but nowhere near as glorious. And the night is still. And so hauntingly quiet.
I open the flask of wine, and take a drink.
"I'm so sorry I didn't bring you home. I didn't find you this time," I say, tears filling my eyes. I tip the bottle of wine, pouring the rest into the murky depths, "I'm so sorry, Harry."