I just summoned my future wife - A Cthulhu love story

"So do you like coffee or tea?"

(A/N: There's going to be some explaining about these beings btw)

The whole events of the first part had completely baffled Norman, who now sat down with said eldritch being. It was odd, in a way to try to accept the normalness of it while it was completely abnormal.

Sitting at the dinner table, slight scorch marks from yesterday. The deity had slept awkwardly on the floor not really knowing how to ask for a bed, nor really needing one in the first place. Norman had even offered to take the couch. But the being had simply parked their ass on the floor and promptly fallen asleep. Norman had absentmindedly given her a pillow and blanket, he felt that letting her feel cold, if there was a possibility, was cruel. As the deity had fallen asleep clutching the blanket tight, with a smile.

"So do you like coffee or tea?", Norman had asked, not really knowing if otherwordly beings needed sustenance or could be without it. "Oh yeah, I never asked your name".

The deity laughed, tossing back her tentacle hair. "I have no need for names, but you may call me Lima", crossing her legs, "oh I'll take coffee, with three sugar cubes". Norman whistled impressed, while making the coffee for the two of them. "So what are you?"

She scoffed with slight amusement, "smooth, very smooth". As Norman sat down their cups of coffee, she drank gently savoring the dark cup. "For your information, I am a Great One, most of us wouldn't take kindly to that type of question". Norman straightened his back, "hold up, there are more of you guys", his brows furrowing.

"Of course there are more, for every thought or fear or hope in the universe, there are twice as many beings". Drinking some more coffee, Lima let out a pleased sigh. "Every century or so we come down here to bind mortals in contracts".

"But why, what would be the reason, why even care about tiny insignificant humans". Norman asked. Holding his coffee cup as a lifeline, while savoring the warmth. Lima laughed, "why not, your lives are short and ours are impossibly long. All  those years are..." She looked off in the distance, "terribly lonely".

She coughed, "well as lonely as they may be, any being that lives long are bound to get bored out of their minds". Norman raised a brow in disbelief, shook his head and drunk some more coffee.

"Sure, but why bother doing that. Wouldn't there be more... I don't know, proof of your existance". He asked. "Well yeah, but we do not bother to entirely erase these memories. Instead we leave proof in books and the creativity of authors or artists leave us alive in your world".

Furrowing his brow, "that doesn't quite make sense, although is Lovecraft one such author". Lima laughed, like soft chimes blowing in the wind. "Yeah, in fact I think one of ours met with him. Although the poor guy almost lost his mind".

Norman stood up, "wait, losing his mind". He had realised that as Lovecraft had written about ancient beings, that were unfathomable to humans. That could in fact drive most people that witnessed them insane. "Am I going to go nuts?". Lima shook her head, "nope, he had the misfortune to meet with the worst of us. We are actually quite harmless, ah well some of us are".

"When you mean harmless, it's just in the way you won't make us go crazy?" Norman asked and Lima nodded. "Of course, it wouldn't be that great if any humans in our servitude would lose their shit".

He relaxed and sat down. "What do you guys do on earth anyways?".

"Mostly, we just chill", it was such a human way of saying it that Norman almost laughed. Almost. "Being an unfathomable deity can be stressful, there are a lot of wars going on up there and all of us are chaotic by nature". She spoke from experience, a sort of tiredness in her eyes.

"But now that I'm here, I'll be away from that for quite some time".

"So could you explain this whole servitude thing", Norman had wanted to know about this for a while, and before he could forget the question now hung in the air. "Well, as I've explained, we go down here to earth to form bonds. Mostly because of boredom. And what it means is usually up to each being". Norman waited for the next answer.

"Ah well, for your part it means that I want to, get to know humanity a bit"- Norman laughed, almost chortled. Lima scoffed, "It's serious, I've been away for too long and I need to know the trends, what clothes are good and tv shows and such".

Norman looked down at his watch, "Ah fuck I need to get going", Lima stood up confused. "For what? Is there anything more important than the literal eldritch being standing in your kitchen?"

He laughed, but with a deadpan face hanging after. "My paycheck actually".

Lima looked in disbelief at him,

 Norman looked back at her.

"Are you serious, you'll leave me alone here?"

"No choice actually, I want to keep my job which is at the morgue at the moment". He laughed, almost halfway throughout the door. "Ah I see, the gatekeeper of the dead, it's an important mission", she nodded. Norman deadpanned at this. What kind of being had he in his house.

"Anyways, I'll entrust the house to you for now". Norman had packed everything he needed. Lima looked more confused than ever. But he was already out the door, the sound of a car starting up. "What the hell happened since the last time I visited earth, these earth beings are confusing".

And so the Great One was assigned to keep watch over the house, not that any burglar would ever stand a chance in a million years against such a foe. But she was vigilant regardless.