STELLAIt seemed as if neither of us could sleep, we were always eachother's go-to to have a late night talk if things got too lonely and quiet. Four days had passed. We found ourselves talking for merely hours, each of us sharing fresh cherries Ellie had scavenged on her early outings while I was out, us finding the sun peeking upon the dark clouds at the horizon early in the morning. The faint noise of birds tweeting outside and bugs chittering had the both of us staring at each-other wide-eyed and giggly like we stayed up on a school night when we weren't supposed to. What else was there to do rather than enjoy eachother's company if we're locked inside together from a flooding storm outside and a puncture that's just taking it's lovely time healing up?
I've come to know more about her now than I ever thought I would. How she loved jokes as a kid and her and Riley would go back and forth telling them. About how well she trusted her friend Dina and how she valued her loyalty as a friend. She talked a lot about her. Her loyalty and compassion and confidence, how she could go to her for almost anything. Dina seemed like she was such a sweetheart, I was internally sending her my best wishes for her pregnancy. How she was raised by a nameless man, although she didn't give me a name or any details and she really cared about him. Like... really cared about him. How she spoke of him with such admiration and happiness but also the most gut wrenching anguish and guilt I've ever seen someone feel.
What makes her nervous. Her love for space and how she has so many collections of comic books and astrology textbooks back at home and was gifted a moon rock by Dina for her 18th birthday ("it's like...from the moon" as she quotes).
Her worst fear - ending up entirely alone. Just the thought of an Ellie out there somewhere completely alone by herself with no one to take care of her or watch her back tears me in two. How when she loves, she loves like she'll lose them any moment. She's so diverse and so unpredictable. It had me itching to know more and more - I couldn't get enough.
"So what, Ellie short for Eleanor?" I passed the half lit cigarette back down to Ellie and our fingertips brushed against each other, sending a heat throughout my hand for the millionth time that night.
"Cute, but no. I'm just...Ellie." She uttered, fumbling around with those fingers of hers, the stick between her index and middle finger. She lifted it to her lips, the end glowing bright orange as she took in a deep hit. She did what she's done a couple of times before, sucking in a smoky grey hit that looked like a sphere and allowing it to pass back out through her lips. What do they call that again, ghosting? I think it's my favorite thing in the world.
"Just Ellie." I repeated with the same tone, though teasingly. "Can you teach me how to do what you just did?" I ask her and her brow furrows. "Do what?"
"Whatever hunky dory just did with your mouth. The suckin' in the smoke thing."
"Hunky dory," She repeats, laughing. Her lip curls into a smirk and she glances down at the cigarette in her hand and then back at me. "You want me to teach you how to ghost?" She asks with a laugh and I nod my head like a child saying yes to an ice cream cone. So it is ghosting. Cool. "You smoke and you don't know how to ghost?"
"Welllll does it look like I know how to ghost? That's why I asked you,"
"Clearly."
She sits there and eyes me for a moment before she lets out a huff, passing me the stick and I hold it as she scoots closer toward me. "Okay, uh..." She now sits close in front of me and I don't even dare say a thing or else I fear it won't even come out.
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The Walls that Separate Us | E.W.
Fanfiction"I know you wish things were different. I wish things were different. But they ain't."