The Walls that Separate Us | E.W.

15• Too late

(a/n: creds to the artist who drew the beautiful ellie portrait above <3

🎶 stream green eyes by coldplay <3

STELLA

Somehow I'm trapped between wanting to forget and wanting to hold on.

The way my eyes struggled to fully open to grasp onto the harsh waves of the charcoal morning gloom reminded me of the days where I'd wake up from a night with no sleep, full of heartbreaking despair and sorrow and grief and a feeling that something was just missing.

The way the moment my eyes open and I feel my heart crunch in pieces because I remember that sometimes we choose people but they don't choose us.

The deep soft emerald green of Ellie's eyes greet me, the feeling of her warm hands on my body fresh in my mind as if she's here right now next to me. But I'm met with nothing but empty feelings and cold, crumpled bedsheets. Nothing but an empty fucking silent void of nothing. She's gone.

I didn't know what I was thinking. Really, I was just setting myself up for disappointment and heartbreak, the harsh truth. A troubled broken girl such as Ellie staying for me when she was here simply because she had to and I was just in the way.

Tears clouded my vision once again as my heart weighed down in my chest dangerously.

Fuck, I thought. What am I going to say to her? There's no doubt, she's continuing her quest today, with or without me. She's probably already packed and ready, awaiting to tell me goodbye for the last time or maybe - she's already left in pursuit of my sister.

I pulled myself up and out of the rock hard bed using the only ounce of strength I had, allowing a trembling exhale to escape my lips. My arms felt like jello and I had a weighing rock in the pit of my stomach that turned into bunched nausea.

I opened the door before me hesitantly, awaiting to see Ellie packing up without even a single glance my way.

But Ellie was nowhere to be seen.

The thick, dull atmosphere of the cabin was completely silent and empty, only the loud pour of rain outside creating a echo of patters throughout the wooden walls. My eyes scanned the room hesitantly, my heart dropping to my stomach with a disgusting lunge that was enough to have me nearly hurl right then and there. Her pack was gone and the living room had been tidied, the quilt Ellie and I had occupied folded on-top of the rocking chair neatly and politely. Not crumpled or left out of place to show she'd been here - it was put back where it came from the moment we stepped through the door. There was now only the ghost of her, lingering like a sick fucking joke.

The only traces of Ellie left behind were her journal untouched from where I set it last night atop the coffee table and a lone piece of paper lying patiently against the fireplace with a cassette tape and Ellie's walkman that we'd fixed next to it.

She's gone.

Ellie had vanished without a trace, swept away by the flood of blind revenge, a weighted heart and an unstable mind.

Dread and panic filled the pit of my stomach as my feet nearly had me sprinting to the scene, taking the cassette tape in my hands as tears slid down my cheeks. Written in soft, curvy handwriting different than mine, which I quickly noted as Ellie's, was written across the front in sharpie.