𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐎 | newjeans

09. | ditto

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❝ 𝐨𝐡, 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨 ❞

— Ditto

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I vigorously rub a towel against my hair to dry it. I always feel better after a long warm shower and today was no exception. My mind feels clear, I can finally think straight after everything that's happened today. I reach my desk and pull my chair out, plopping myself onto it. Time to get started with schoolwork.

As I sit down and open my books, a sudden chime breaks my concentration. It repeats over and over, each ring like a hammer on my skull. I groan in frustration and kick my chair backwards, standing up to find the source of the sound.

Soon I find the source of the sound to be my cell phone, located on top of my dresser. The name on it catches me off guard, making me stumble. It's Minji's name. Minji is calling me; the same Minji who's been dead for around two months.

"What...?" I exclaim, confused.

I'm about to flip my phone open and answer the call for an explanation, when Minji's words from earlier enter my mind: "You must not reply no matter what." I let out a shaky breath — a test; that's all this is. I flip my phone open and push a button to reject the call. Even though it's what Minji told me to do, my stomach churns with guilt. I crouch down against the wall, burying my head in my knees. I thought I was fine, that I had already accepted their death. So then why is it still affecting me like this?

Just then, my phone rings again. I spring up and snatch my phone off my dresser, flipping it open.

"Minji?" I ask, my voice wobbling. "Minji, I'm so so sorry for hanging up on you."

"Heesoo?" The voice that replies isn't Minji's. "I'm not Minji. It's Minkyu."

"Minkyu?" I echo. Then realisation hits me. "The school project. Library. After school. I completely forgot." My eyes start to tear up. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me. About crying I mean. Not that I'm not sorry about not coming to the library. Sorry for that too. Agh, what am I even saying? I'm sorry. I'll stop talking right now." I babble endlessly, my insides burning with embarrassment.

"Are you... okay?"

"No. I mean yes. Yes, I'm fine. Never been better actually." What am I saying? Maybe I should hang up right now and pretend this conversation never happ—

"You definitely don't seem fine." He says firmly. "Tell me what's bothering you. Ah, only if you want to that is. I just thought it might help, you know?" He lets out a small awkward laugh.

"I've just- It's my friends' deaths. It was so sudden and I- I just miss them so much. It happened two months ago, yet I haven't processed it properly yet. Sometimes I kind of forget. Like I'll be in class and turn around expecting them to be there, but they're not. I know it sounds like I'm making up an excuse, I mean it's been two months. I thought I'd be able to deal with it by now but I guess not." I admit. "That's not my excuse for not coming to the library though. That was my fault. It started snowing and I felt sick so I fell asleep in a locker room on my way to the library. Technically, it did have something to do with my friends too, but it's pretty difficult to explain. Anyways, that's not important. It's my fault. I'll make sure to work on my part of the project at home and bring it to school tomorrow."

"I- I'm so sorry." Minkyu's voice cracks. "It must be really hard for you. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but things will get better. I'm sure of it. There are a lot of people around you who care about you. Like your family and Eunbi... a-and, well, me."

I hastily wipe the tears from my face, trying to compose myself. "Thank you," I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper. "I haven't talked to anyone about this, and, I guess, I didn't realise how much I needed to get it off my chest."

My words hang in the air, waiting for a response. The silence is deafening, and my heart pounds in my chest. Finally, I hear a soft exhale on the other end of the line.

"Of course, anytime," he says, his voice full of compassion. "Just call me whenever you need someone to talk to."

A small smile tugs at my lips, grateful for his kindness. "You're such a good listener," I add, my voice growing more confident. "I guess that's one of the reasons I like you so much."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I clamp a hand over it, mortified. Heat rushes to my face, and I feel like I might burst into flames.

The silence that follows is excruciating. My mind races, trying to think of something, anything to break it. I want to take it back, pretend like I never said it. But I can't, and the awkwardness only grows.

"You like me?" He asks quietly, sounding surprised. "As a friend or...?"

I decide to take a leap of courage, there's no point in hiding it. "Yes," I confess, "and not as a friend. I like you, Park Minkyu."

My heart races with anticipation, waiting for his response. The seconds feel like an eternity.

Finally, his voice breaks through the silence, uttering just one word, yet it changes everything.

"Ditto."

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CHAPTER END

A/N:

last chapter before the epilogue!! i cant believe im nearly finished, tbh when i started this i kinda thought i would abandon it halfway lmao

this chapter was pretty rushed, it probably could've been written better. tbh i don't like how I wrote most of it like the dialogue just seems awkward to me 😔. anyways if u have any criticism (on this chapter or any of the others) pls share, i want to be able to improve.  hope u enjoyed reading this and have a great day/night ^^

once again if u liked it pls consider voting, adding to your reading list, or commenting bc it would mean so much to me <33

word count: 1056