Love and the Phantom Queen of Suburbia

Dedication

I dedicate this collection to everyone who's taught me what love is, and what it isn't. To all of you, across the years and miles, thank you for all I have learned. Some of my relationships have definitely been cautionary tales, about what not to wish for. I can't honestly say I have no regrets. Some of the wounds, I could have done without. It's easy to say your trauma makes you stronger, but it really doesn't. It just hurts. The work you do to overcome it might make you stronger or wiser. That's you exerting that effort, though, not the damage itself, and definitely not the person or people who inflicted it.

There are as many different types of love in the world as there are people in it. Whether or not I ever settle into a long-term romantic relationship, I'm working on valuing all the other loves, even the passing heartbreaks. All that aside, I saw someone say on Instagram that "real" romantic love is rare, and it gets to be rare, because it's so special. She went on to add that there's a chance it might not come your way again. Even if she had a point, I was still devastated. I feel like I'm too young to forever give up on that. Yes, I will still cultivate friendships and work on inviting positivity and nurturing into my life, but I'm also still holding out hope.

For anyone not mentioned within these pages, I'm sorry if I overlooked you in memory. I'm not sure if it's possible to recount all the loves of one's life within one volume of letters and meditations. To my family, especially my daughter, and my dear friends, I send you all much love. I don't imagine the content of this book balances the immense amount of support I've received from you over the years; hopefully, I can do so through my actions, informed by the reflecting I've done here.