Love me harder. *Zarry-mpreg*

4.

Harry was reading a book in bed, trying to anyway when Zayn finally made it back home from his night out with Justin. It was nearly midnight. He'd been waiting for him to come home and getting anxious.

"Hi." He said.

"I told you not to wait up, Harry. That wasn't me being sarcastic." Zayn made his way to their walk in closet. He changed into sweats and a T-shirt and brushed his teeth before climbing back in bed, his back to Harry.

"You want me to make you coffee?" Harry asked. "It will help with your hangover in the morning."

"M'not that drunk, Harry. I've only had one drink and you were there when I drank the screwdriver."

"You could have called and told me you're okay."

"I could've called but was having too much fun. Louis got home okay? Hope he didn't mind being in the car with children and dogs. But that's the story of my life."
Zayn said hugging a pillow.

"You want to tell me what was going on with you?" Harry asked treading carefully. He knew what is going on but what Zayn to lay it out for him.

"I should ask you the same, darling. Aren't people discreet nowadays when they're having affairs? I think I handled the situation very well with Louis. I mean, would you stay as calm as I was after you found out I have been fucking someone else behind your back and bitching how of a boring fuck you are? Doubt it." Zayn scoffed. "Wonder if it crossed your mind I'd punch your lover in the face infront of our daughter who treats me like shit because it's a learned behaviour. Her daddy and nana treats me the same way."

"Baby_"

"I'm not Louis, darling. You've got the wrong house."

"Can you look at me please?"

"The day after my birthday party at your moms I recall you left to go to the office supposedly for a meeting. Tell me the truth about that day. I will look at you." Zayn replied instead.

Harry shut his eyes. "Why you're asking me that?"

"Why am I asking? Because, Harry, twice I've called Louis your lover, said about having an affair and fucking someone behind your back and you haven't denied, denied and denied like a normal innocent person would. So, how long has it been going on?"

"I swear I never fucked him_"

"Wow straight to the fucking. You're not even going to give me foreplay and tell me it meant nothing." Zayn puffed. "So, when did the non fucking relationship start, Harry? That what I need to hear from you."

Harry sighed. "Three months. Give or take."

Zayn turned over to face him. He handed him the old phone with those damning messages. "I'm giving you your old phone. Take it. It has messages of you and Louis texting each other. Knowing I have seen and read them, do you want to revise your answer?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Six months. He came over to me and struck a conversation. At first I told him to leave me alone. I've never met him before and wasn't in the mood. He apologised for intrusion, we started chatting. That went on for hours. It was random chat. We talked about everything."

"That's nice. Having someone to talk to that's older than six. You chat about his job? What does he do?"

Harry sighed. "He's a librarian_"

"How befitting." Zayn scoffed.

Harry smiled at the wittiness. Zayn was quick witted, he had always loved that about him.

Ain't it funny when people are at the brink of losing something they start to appreciate its value.

"So back to the day after my birthday party. Did you arrange to meet with Louis?"

"Yes." Harry ran a hand on his hair again. "I didn't follow through with the plan. I left the house and was on the way to him. Then I stopped and parked the car thinking what am I doing? So I bought white roses for you, and drove back him. I know this will be hard to believe but it was never physical."

"There was a message where Louis wrote, last night was amazing. If it was not physical, what was that about if not sex?" Zayn asked.

"A fantasy of his. We played it out over the phone_"

"Meaning you had phone sex. Did you wank in the shower? Or your car? I would think if you were to jerk off in bed with me beside you, even in my tired deep sleep your heavy breathing would awoke me. Having your children has made me a light sleeper you know. But then you wouldn't know, Harry, because you've never once in your life woken up for a night feed."

"Zee_"

"You know what let's keep it a mystery. I don't want visions of you coming hard while pretending to have sex with someone else. So moving along, on another text he wrote he loved you. You love him?"

"I don't love him. We had an emotional relationship that was never physical. He wanted more I didn't. He started threatening to tell you and using blackmail to get me in bed. I got a new phone and a new number. But he knew where I worked and kept coming at work to harass me. Today he called saying he needed to talk. I agreed to stop him calling my office started making assumptions. I swear on our children's lives that's the truth."

Zayn looked at him. "Theres few hours left before I have to wake up to take our daughter to school before which I'll have to make a packed lunch for her as she's gluten and lactose intolerant and school dinners can't cater for her, then make sure she's got her PE kit and swimming costume, made sure she's wearing a clean uniform, make sure to braid her long hair, made sure Joey is up and change his night nappy, then make sure to cook breakfast for you, him and her as you all have different dietary needs, make sure not to forget the dog  before driving out of the house making sure I brought along your suits for dry cleaning and your gym clothes are in the washer and ready for use later. That was just my morning routine and I'm aware doing all that is not as tiring as your job, but is it okay if I go to sleep now? Doing less is exhausting. I am tired."

Harry chewed on his bottom lip, knowing he messed up big time and it would take a lot of grovelling for Zayn to forgive him, that is if he doesn't leave him.

"I do appreciate what you do for me, Zee. So much. I will own up to what I've done. That I betrayed you. I disregarded our vows. I am sorry I let my mom get away with speaking to you like you're a child. Growing up with a narcissist mother is hard. I don't know how to respond to her when she disregard me as well. Not an excuse but if you give me a chance to prove I am worthy of your time, I will use it to the fullest. Please?"

Zayn stared at him. Harry was sincere. But since when had Harry not? "Would you have told me about your emotional nonsexual relationship if I hadn't see those messages on your phone? I wasn't fishing for anything by the way, it was an incidental finding."

"To be honest. I wouldn't have. I was cutting ties with him. Living with the guilt of what I've done for the rest of my life was enough punishment for me than putting you through the heartache of my betrayal, my darling."

Zayn clenched his jaw. He recalled a time his husband used to call him my darling, he would blush like a girl. That now made his blood boil. He rolled over, turning his back to face him.

"I have one question for you, Harry. I broke my phone again and need a new one. Can you provide me with that since I don't work?"

Harry gulped, nodding. "Always."