Life is a very complicated thing... Why does it seem so easy for the others? They seem to be living things pretty well... So why couldn't he? He may try to smile, to do like the others, but nothing helps, he can't really "love life".
Why couldn't he manage to get rid of his dark thoughts... Dark thoughts? Rather destructive ideas, intrusive thoughs.
He felts like he would never get out of this, he couldn't take it anymore, he just wanted to disappear... He wihed that no one remembered him and the fact that he once existed... Because that one day, accidentaly... he was born. The greatest misfortune of his life was probably this event : his birth. And, since that day, everything had only followed one another.
This whole life was just the product of an accident, he could've very well never have been, never had existed.
Did he have the right to happiness? Probably not... Anyway, he didn't want to achieve happiness, he only desired to end his suffering and thereby end his life.
The problem is that he is afraid of death.
He laughs bitterly thinking about it...
Suffocated by tears, he murmurs : "Seriously... I want to die but I can't do it".
He looks around him, his room is immersed in darkness. The state of his "tidying up" says a lot about his mental health. Him who really wanted everything to be in order, he couldn't do it either. That's it, he can't do much, and that, his parents made sure he understood.
So, to at least ease his pain for a moment, he picks up a blade and...does what he's always done.
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I can't do this anymore... (English)
FanfictionOikawa is depressed... He wish he was never born, he wish he never had to live like this. He's had enough, he can't do this anymore. The greatest misfortune of his existence ? His birth... It was the starting point of all of it. The only problem i...
