The Sacrifices We Made

39

"He called me his husband" Xiao Zhan says for the first time Bina was asleep beside him not letting him go Sizhui was cuddled up beside him on the other side. He was the only one left while the others had gone to fulfill their schedules before calling off. "But I am not"

"you have a child together" Sizhui murmurs

"not officially" Xiao Zhan looked at Bina "he was supposed to be once we were both in China, I am going to take him to bed" He carries Bina

He lies beside Bina following his rhythmic breathing  "what am I going to do now? We were not together anymore and it still hurts. What will I do? Are you going to be with me? It's terrifying for me now and I don't want to be alone" Xiao Zhan cries himself to sleep that night.
           
...

Wooseok was not even aware of what was going on. He understood that the friend group had lost a friend, his husband had lost his childhood friend 'his brother from another mother' and everyone around him was grieving. Not to even start with, his best friend who had lost everything, to Wooseok Xiao Zhan had started to shut himself from everything.

"What do you mean by cutting his sabbatical time" Wooseok spoke on the phone "He was put on forced leave for 6 months it has only been 2 months he can't cut his leave time short that's unacceptable" Wooseok took a deep breath "What do you mean he was approved to come back who in their goddamn minds would approve"  Wooseok sighs "of course she would more complicated cases are coming in and they need their top surgeon back, fine just keep an eye on him for me until I come back" his eyes follow Seungyoun coming out of their room for the first time in a week after the funeral. "I'll see you soon, keep me updated"

"Afternoon" Wooseok joined them in the kitchen

"Mn"

"Are you looking for food I can whip you up something" Wooseok said and opens the fridge

"It's fine" Seungyoun shakes his head no.

"Don't worry it will be quick and easy" He navigates his husband's sunken body to the dining table.

He quickly whips up leftover rice and vegetables.

"Here," he places water beside him.

Seungyoun nods and gets to eat.

In the middle of his meal, Seungyoun breaks down sobbing.

"Honey" he stands beside Seungyoun hugging him tightly.

"He's gone" Seungyoun holds on Wooseok's hands tightly

"It's fine I am here I am sorry" Wooseok hugs him tight

A day passed, a week passed, even a month passed and Wooseok watched as Xiao Zhan deteriorated. He had completely shut himself off, stopped talking to his family and friends, and stopped attending family dinners. He avoided human interaction as if it was a fluke.

"Look at him go" Xingchen stood beside Wooseok, Sizhui, and Jiang Cheng. "as if nothing happened"

"I am worried for him" Sizhui's voice wavers

"It's like he has this wall around him" Jiang Cheng sighs "bastard why did he come back in he's allowed to grieve even though he was an ex"