The only reason

Darkness

I sat twirling the cold piece of metal with my fingers, deciding if I should do it. Over and over I felt the blade scrape over my not so delicate skin. Just one more time. Self harm? What is self harm? Most would say it's cutting, taking a sharp blade to your body. But is it really that simple? It's not.. It's defined as "Intentional; direct injuring of body tissue most often done without suicidal intentions."
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a door slam from downstairs. I quickly wiped my tears and slid my small razor blade back under my pillow. "You bitch!" I could hear the yelling start. Footsteps were charging outside of my door. It rang in my ears... I wanted to run, escape! There was more slurred yelling and the footsteps continued until stopping at my bedroom door.
I started to shiver and the hair on my arms and legs stood. The doorknob of my door turned and was threw open! I couldn't run, it only made things worse. So I sat and waited, it wasn't long till I felt his fist come down hard against the side of my face. I fell to the ground and he towered over my huddled form, seething with anger. I wondered how his curled fist had become so large, his body shaking with fury. I didn't dare to look up at his eyes, I could already feel the piercing glow like two burning embers. I wanted to cry out, but I stayed quiet in hope it wouldn't be as bad. I stay huddled as his hard fist reign down on me, along with his foot striking my body. I took the brutal punishment with a quiet deviance. Every now and then, I accidentally let out a small groan of pain and it only angered him more. Finally, his fist eventually slowed and came to a stop. Mumbling profanity under his breath to me, I watch from the corner of my eye, watching the man I call my father leave slamming the door behind him.
I tried to move but it hurt physically, emotionally, and mentally. I laid there on the floor sobbing as I heard the same door downstairs slam again. I knew he had left again but he would be back in the morning. I pulled myself to lean against my bed ignoring the pain. I reached my hand under my pillow, grabbing the small cold rigid blade. I let tears slide down my face as I brought the metal to my hip making two deep cuts, but not to deep. I watched; blurry eyed as the red liquid surfaced. I then took my shirt pressing it to the cuts to catch the blood. When they finally stopped bleeding, I slowly got up and walked to my dresser taking a bag and filling it with the little I had in my possession. I couldn't take it anymore I would rather die in the streets than here in this house. I stood in the doorway hurting from the beating I had gotten just moment before.. I prayed he wouldn't catch me leaving or it might just be my last night on earth. I hurried downstairs to the back door. I am so close, I reached my slim arm out and slowly turned the knob revealing a little neighborhood. A neighborhood that I used to know so well. I let the door click behind me and started walking. It was dark, everyone sleeping as the sound of crickets and grasshoppers filled the night. A few tears escaped my eyes, and I kept walking..

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Ok so I'm nervous I haven't wrote in awhile but I guess I'm back.😆

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Goodnight lovelies