not that it really matters

$p@rk

as the time passes on i can feel it's eyes burn into me. it's grin.. i can see it.. every time i close my eyes. it's voice echoes so loudly i can't hear anything else other than it.

it gets to me all the time- for 2 years- no matter how much with some of what it said repeated.. it was trauma i knew so well. i didn't ask for this and yet somehow i'm alive again, but somewhere else. a completely different world.. it's called the void- what a welcoming name..

the realms is an odd collection. my world isn't part of it, they have no idea what i am. i feel so lonely.. i'm lost and there is no body i know. i met a man- a creature called a factory puffball. his name is Chaos Factory- he works for the thing they call, The Council. i was stuck there.. for 2 years.. tortured by their so called "great scientist". he wanted to know what i am and my powers.. but i guess it required to tear me apart while still conscious and breathing. i felt every tear and every break.. it was so unbearable.. refusing caused more pain. somehow i survived off of the very little actual food i was given. solid darkness has such a bitter taste- and consuming it too much will mutate your body- i was lucky enough to have been saved before that happened.. but my body has been altered. it now creates the substance inside my stomach and every so often i will vomit it out.. it's horrible i really hate it.

i miss chaos factory.. he was the only one who was nice and he even tried protecting me from the great scientist, manifest. but being part of the heroes have perks- i get to see him, but only on the battle field. the heroes are so nice to me- well mostly- but i have met some really nice ones and some i have gained feelings for.. one of them is that damn egg. idk what it's about him but he gives me joy- but also the urge to comfort him.. he's gone through so much. i have only heard a bit about the Crown incident, but if i have to be honest, i'd rather be part of an ai simulation than be controlled and tortured by some dark evil thing that's sealed into a crown. i can't imagine the hell it put him through. i would ask him but i don't want him to have to relive that whole experience. maybe it's not so bad that i was tortured by manifest and his monstrosity. it's best to say everyone has their own bad experiences and it's a dick move to try and compare bad experiences. you never know how it impacted them.