"I still can't believe you Zayn. I told you not to post it," I said as I packed my suitcase full of clothes and basic necesities for the trip to the X Factor studio in London. Zayn was sitting on my bed, carefully rearranging my shampoo and conditioner when I tossed something on top of them.
"I'm sorry, Sammie, but in my defense, I got drunk at that party."
"Please explain how that defends you...?"
"You know how I get when I'm drunk..." he aswered, with a bit of amusement in his voice.
"True. So have you talked to Allie to see if the girls decided who wants to go?"
"Not yet. Maybe you should call her." He picked up my phone and tossed it to me from across the room. I caught it and began to dial the number. After one ring, then two, then three, the call was finally answered. But it wasn't Allie. It was Harry on the other end. "Hi, Sam. What's up?"
"I'm packing with Zayn. Is Als with you?"
"Yeah she just got out of the showe- woah, hey Allie- umm yeah she is definately out of the shower. You want to talk to her?"
"Yeah if she's not too busy."
Harry handed the phone over to Allie. "Hey, Sam, did you need something? I need to go put some clothes on, I'm kind of in a towel right now..."
"I was wondering if you all had decided who's going with-"
She cut me off by saying, "Well obviously I'm going and I think Avery decided to stay here. So I guess it's me and Beth."
"Ok, great!" We exchanged quick goodbyes and I went back to packing. First the leather jacket, then the striped shirts, then the band tees and skinny jeans. Zayn was still organizing everything I threw him, down to my toothbrush being exactly alligned with the toothpaste. I stopped for a moment and just looked at him, just really looked, and saw something I never had before. He was still the same boy I had known all my life, same attractiveness, same tattoos, same quiff, but I saw something completely different from his usual bad-boy, laid back attitude. I saw a bit of vulnerability in his eyes, something almost weak and sad. I had only ever seen him like this one other time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
***4 years ago***
"Sam!" I spun around to see a familiar face, one of my best friends, Zayn Malik. He was walking at a quick pace down the hallway to catch up with me before I got to Biology. I waved back at him just before he met up with me. "I really wanted to ask you somethi-" The tardy bell cut him off followed by "sorry i have to go! Ask me later, ok?" as I ran off to class.
I got to Biology late, as usual. I sat next to my lab partner, Niall and he smiled. I mirrored him before the teacher had begun to speak. Class flew by and soon Niall and I were walking out of the room to our lockers. Mine was right next to his so we always walked together to them.
I put in my combination and started to put away my Bio book when Niall said, "Hey Sam?"
"Yeah, Ni?"
"I was wondering... Would you like to go to the movies with me this weekend?"
"Like on a date...?"
"Yeah... If you want to. You don't have to but-"
"No, I would love to go." I smiled and blushed and realized that Niall had too.
The next two days flew by and I couldn't wait until my date with Niall. It was last period on Friday, and I was jittery and looking at the clock constantly, willing the bell to ring early. When it finally did, I got up as quickly as I could and rushed to get to Zayn's dad's car. Zayn and I lived on the same street so his dad always took us both home every day. I hopped into the backseat, with a quick "hey". I tapped my feet on the floorboard hoping Zayn would hurry. Just then Zayn got into the back with me, which was unusual because he almost always sat in front with his dad. He smiled and said hi and so did I. I just wanted to get back to my house to get ready.
"Hey, so I never asked you... Do you want to go do something this weekend?" he said, taking me out of my trance.
"Sure but I'm booked for tonight. I'm going the movies with Niall Horan," I involuntarily smiled when I said this aloud.
"Oh... Well I guess you wouldn't be interested then..."
"Z, what are you talking about?'
"I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me this weekend... But nevermind. I see you have Niall." He looked so different than a few minutes ago, just sad and weak now.
"But Zayn... I... I..." I trailed off not knowing what to say. The car pulled up into my driveway, the time for me to get out. I waved at Zayn's dad and watched as the car drove away. I just wanted to tell Zayn I was sorry. So, so sorry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He had the same look now. "Z... What's wrong?" He answered with a quiet "oh, nothing" and continued arranging my bags. "I know It's not nothing," I said and sat down on the bed next to him. "You know you can tell me anything. You always have."
"Do you remember our freshman year much?"
"Every bit of it." I looked down at my hands knowing what he was going to bring up.
"I'm still that same boy. I still feel the same way. I think you should know that."
"Zayn... I'm so sorry. But I love Niall. And he loves me and we're together and we will be for a long time. I don't know what to say but..."
"You've said enough." He stood up and left the room headed for my apartment door.
"Z, wait! What is that supposed to mean? 'You've said enough'? Did you think I would just give up Niall and be with you? Did you think I was just going to change my mind completely and love you instead?!" I stopped, knowing I had said enough this time. And I couldn't believe I had said it. But it was the truth. Zayn just looked at me for a second with sad sullen eyes, then left.
What could I do now? Was this it? Had I throw our friendship away for good this time? These questioned swam around in my head until I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran out my apartment door and down the hallway just as the elevator was closing. I took the stairs, hoping I could get to the ground floor before Zayn did. My breathing sped and my heart raced as I reached the door to the lobby. The elevator door was opening just as I reached it and before I could stop to think about it, I threw my arms around Zayn and cried into his collar begging him to stay and repeatedly apologizing for being such a jerk to him. He reached his hand up to stroke my long curly hair saying that it was okay, trying to calm me.
"Zayn, I'm so, so, so sorry. I can't believe I said that to you. Please stay. Please." I looked up at him and saw those same familiar eyes looking back. "Please don't go."
"I really need to go home and pack anyway. But I'll be back, I promise." I hugged him tight, and when I let go, he slipped out of my grasp and out the door. I stepped into the elevator and rode back up to apartment 5B alone, in silence.
I got back to my apartment and put my All Time Low album on to get my mind off of Zayn. My favorite song started playing when I heard the sharp shrill of my phone ringing. "Hello?" On the other end I heard the best person I could think of to talk to right now. "Niall!"
"Hey baby can I come over? I'm already packed and now I'm bored."
"Sure but only if you don't mind listening to my music while I finish up."
"Well I guess I can handle it," he laughed then added, "I'll be over in a minute."
"Hey Ni?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too Sammie. I'll be right over." He hung up the phone and I went back into my bedroom to finish packing. I zipped my large suitcase shut and grabbed my pink duffel. I started shoving in undergarments and other necessary clothes to take on the trip to London. I heard Niall walk in the door and yelled that I was in my bedroom. I zipped my duffel and tossed on top of my other bags, asking Niall to help me pack them to his car. We were all going to the airport seperately so Ni was driving him and me. We rode down the elevator together down to the parking lot and put my bags in the trunk. I noticed he had already put his back there too. We went back to my apartment hand in hand. We sat on my couch for what seemed like hours, talking and laughing about everything. Everything but the fact that Zayn was still in love with me.
