THEY LET HER DIE

1

On that very grey morning, you tugged on your black cloak tightly, still and nearly lifeless. Your eyes were red and puffed but you did not cry while your mates wept like there was no tomorrow. Instead, you stared, you stared widely with your head hung on your neck like it was stuck. You didn't even utter a word, you didn't even say a prayer, you just stood still and sober.

When they opened the black box, you turned away till it was closed shut. The wailing sound increased as you focused deeply on the black box; the black box that swallowed all of Senami's dreams and aspirations, then you pushed down your fear with a gulp of saliva.

After they had put her body into the ground, they began to share refreshments and snacks. You did not eat. At least, the good Lord helped you sip on the bottle of Fanta that your mother dropped on the table where you sat. You leaned your elbow on the table then used your hand to support your heavy head while your eyes danced on the foiled plate of small chops.

Your mum, after wishing her condolences to Senami's parents, sat by you at the table. You knew that she was staring intently at you but you didn't bother to spare her a glance.

"I wonder how you're taking it, you look quite well," she said. Then your eyes were fixed on the table and your feet tapped lightly to the beat of the background song they played.

"But what exactly happened?" She continued, "How did she pass?"When you tried to talk, saliva filled your mouth, and tears, your eyes. Your mother understood; at least she thought she did. She rubbed your hand gently then left the table.

'Why weren't you crying?' you thought, 'Was it because of your masculinity?'When she was one of the people you had loved so much; your best friend. It couldn't have been this early for her to leave. You cursed.

- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

You told your mother that you couldn't drive and she understood. She drove you home and let you into the house. Your legs were weak and your body could not take it; you burst into tears and fell to the floor. Your mother joined you, she held you tightly when you struggled. She whispered that it would be okay; that you would be okay.

"Dolapo, I know this is too much for you," she said, "she then left after graduation, ah Oluwa oh!"You leaned on your mother's arm and inhaled her scent. She hugged you and kissed your right cheek. Even though you were seventeen(17) years old, you were still her little boy.