My heart I lost to the sea - a one shot

My heart I lost to the sea

Three sharp knocks echoed through the apartment. 

My hands, which had been frantically trying to control the wild curls of my hair, stilled. I glanced towards the small dining room table that took up half of the kitchen. Again. A fond smile played on my lips as I let my hair cascade back down my back.

Straightening, I grasped the wrapped sandwich as I hurried to the door on stockinged feet.

Then, as I unbolted the door and threw it open, I teased, "I can't believe you left it again. I'm beginning to think you're doing this on -."

My heart stilled briefly in my chest and, for a second, I forgot to breathe.

There were moments that could turn your entire life upside down. They usually came when you least expected them. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. The last big moment was so huge, it transformed all of my future plans. And now, it was happening all over again. 

The sandwich dropped from my nerveless fingers to splat onto the floor. Trembling, I stretched out my hand and gently touched the face staring down at me. It was the face that haunted my dreams. The face that made my soul ache when it disappeared each time I woke up in the morning only to see another laid on the pillow across from me.

He was warm. His beard coarse.

He was real. 

My fingers drifted to the new lines which now surrounded his eyes. He was the same but also different. His shoulders were broader and yet,  somehow, he seemed smaller.

It's still my Victor.

"Oh, thank you God." I whispered reverently, my eyes lifting to the cracked ceiling before being drawn straight back to his face. "You're alive. You're really here. "

"It's me, Flora."

My soul, which had been broken and bleeding for months, was suddenly lighter as relief flooded every part of me. I rushed forwards, my body slamming into his before I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

"I can't believe you're really here." My cheek pressed against his chest, the reassuring thud of his heart beat strong against my cheek. "I went down to the docks when the Carpathia came in. I watched as they unloaded all of the passengers. I checked all of those lists a thousand times and your name was there but I couldn't find you. I thought they had made a mistake. I thought you were gone. It was the only reason I could think of that you wouldn't come home to me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

The words were spoken softly into my hair but they may as well have been shouted. It took a moment for them to truly register. My body stiffened in his hold. Then, unwrapping my arms from his neck, I pushed against his chest even as I backed up a step.

My face twitched as the sandwich squished beneath my foot, cold even through the stockings.

"You know? You're sorry?" I questioned, propping a hand on the doorframe to keep steady. "What does that even mean, Victor?"

He swallowed loudly. "I saw you... at the docks."

"You saw me? And you didn't say anything?" I asked, my throat tight. "You let me walk away. You let me think you were dead. You let me live a year in hell thinking the love of my life was gone."

"I'm sorry, Flora."

"You're sorry? Is that all you have to say? Why would you do this, Vic? What did I ever do to you?"

"Nothing, I swear." He stretched out a hand towards me. I flinched away.

"It's not you, it's me, right?" I snorted and backed up another step. "I may not have stepped out with as many people as you, Victor, but I am no-one's fool. If you didn't want to marry me, you could have just told me. Why did you do this? Why did you have to be so cruel?"