Foolishly Falling for You

31

Lance

My eyes are swollen but that is the least of my many worries. My wife, Anita who, to my knowledge, still intends to divorce me, is blissfully drinking tea. Her ease disgusts me. How used to this is she, that she can just drink tea, her little pinky out, her brows raised in quiet appreciation. She hums.

"This is very good," She murmurs, shifting in her spot. Her dress is a royal blue, expensive, and beautiful against her rich skin, white gloves on her hands, and her hair done up in an intricate updo. She's going somewhere.

"You have a tea party to attend? I didn't see an invitation." I nod to her attire. I seem to only see her in her nightgown these days. I find I almost prefer it, the way the straps fall off her shoulder and expose her luscious breasts. Still, it's good that she looks ready for social activities, if only I could narrow down just who she's going to see.

A friend? Perhaps, though I can't think of any. A lover? She's certainly beautiful enough. She was the flower of society. She had so many suitors, so many marriage prospects, and I was not even the most powerful of them.

Anita raises her eyes to meet mine, dark pools of chocolate. "I...am going on a small outing. I just felt like going out. The air is fresh and clean, the sun is out. I want to enjoy the day. I plan to go on a stroll downtown."

"I'll join you," I offer.
Anita blinks and then shrugs. "Alright."

No protest? I thought she might tell me to return to the war so that I might die in it. But she takes it in stride, in a better mood than I've seen her in years, decades even.

We finish breakfast, and I take her arm and drive out downtown. Her elbow is nestled in mine as we stroll along the sidewalk. The air truly is clean. Each breath feels invigorating and I can't tell if that's because it's a beautiful summer day, or if it's because I'm with her.

"I heard the doctor recommend you use a cane," She says softly.

I scoff. "I'm fine."

"But they recommended you not put pressure on your leg," She protests, pulling me closer to scold me. I hide my smile.

"Pressure makes diamonds," I grunt, glancing at a hat in the window.

"It also makes bullet wounds worse," She frowns. "You must be in pain. Just use the cane, would you?"

I didn't even buy it. But I won't tell her that. I just grunt in the affirmative, and she heaves a sigh as if she just doesn't know what to do with me. We keep walking for a bit. She doesn't try to go into any stores, she doesn't want to buy anything. Just looking.

"Would you like a flower," I nod to a young girl, holding a bouquet.

"Are you intending to propose to me, the flower of high society with a mere flower," She asks softly.

I grin. "You're my flower,"

"Is that so?" She raises her brow, nodding to the young girl. "Go get a flower from that young girl. I may consider your courtship."

I chuckle but she looks at me sternly, so I sigh and approach the child, who cowers when she sees me. I kneel down and smile, trying to make myself look a little less like an Admiral and more like a man.

"I would like to buy a flower from you," I say gently, minding my volume.

The young girl seems malnourished. She reminds me of Anita, in a way. Small, and fragile but standing on her own with determination. "You want a flower?" She whispers.

I glance back at Anita. "For that pretty woman back there. She says your flowers are the prettiest she's ever seen, and she may marry me if I give her one."

She smiles and peeks behind me, before leaning in and whispering in my ear. "She really is pretty,"

I grin. "I think so too. What do you say then? 2 gold for the bouquet."

The young girl looks down at the flowers in her hand. They are not worth 2 gold anyone with working eyes could see that, they're hardly even worth 5 silver.

"I see. You drive a hard bargain young lady," I say sternly pulling out my wallet. "10 gold."

"They are just flowers picked by the roadside," She whispers. "It's too much."

I put my head on her head. She's so young, maybe 8 summers. It can't be safe here.

"You must learn to take advantage of people. They will take advantage of you," I put the gold in her hands.

"Don't tell anyone you have this. Run straight home and hide it, okay?"

She nods, skipping off. I smile and head back to Anita who grins. "That was kind of you."

"I have no clue what you're talking about," I grin back, offering her the bouquet. "Now...can I marry you now?"

She shrugs. "I'll think about it." Anita puts the flowers to her nose and inhales deeply. Her eyes closed, as she enjoys the scent. I didn't know she liked flowers so much.

We continue our walk, chatting about this and that, society gossip, and things in the house she's working on. It's nice. We could've been doing this for years. It's what we were meant to do.

"It's truly a beautiful day," I sigh with a grin.
She inhales deeply and nods. "It really is." Then she stops. I glance up, expecting to see a store. Instead, I find a small house, on the end of the strip, with a porch and a balcony.

"A friend's house?" I ask.
"You could say that." She smiles gently, pointing to the porch, "Wouldn't that be so perfect for a little swing?"
I nod. "Indeed it would."

And then we sit there. We imagine that swing and her on it. Her plan no doubt, for after she divorces me. I don't love the thought, but I do love the smile on her face, as she imagines a future without me.

I decide if she chooses this place, I will plant daises on this small lawn, and even if we are not together if those flowers make her smile, it's all worth it. She hums softly, a song I don't know, but I close my eyes and enjoy the sound of her voice.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" I ask her. She stops and a breeze kicks up, taking her hat. I hold it down on her head, my larger hands on top of hers. We stand, nose to nose, our eyes locked.

Her face...her soft expression, those soft eyes, those full lips...nature has never crafted something as perfect as she is.

She doesn't say anything for a moment, seeming to ponder over her answer.

"Despite my better judgment,..years of loving you haven't completely washed away. I wish you well, Lance. Honestly."

Just not with her. She doesn't need to say the words, they're as clear as the sky. I purse my lips, as we walk back toward the carriage.

I love her. I keep the thought to myself, though I'm fairly certain, at this point that it's true. I love her but I will not burden her with that love. I have burdened her with my indifference long enough.

"You should use your cane," She informs me haltingly, carefully, and with care. I smile.

"I will consider it," I grunt, opening the carriage door for her, offering my hand. She takes it, sliding into the carriage.

"You do that, Admiral Lance."

The ride back is rocky, but I find myself contemplating love. Everyone speaks of it as something wild and uncontrollable like a tempest. But for me, a man of logic, I've decided it's a choice. I have chosen to love my wife, unconditionally and without expecting anything in return.

I smile at the thought. Loving her...feels good.