Revisiting Her

-I want to let go-

The sun painted the sky with shades of orange and pink as it started to set. The light breeze which was blowing all day got colder as the night took over from a clear, bright winter's day. Clouds were gathering as well, amplifying the variations of the colors the setting sun painted the sky with. Somewhere dark and heavy and the air smelled like freshly watered grass, indicating a probability of rainfall. A certain list of Etta James songs was playing smoothly in the background, making my heart lighter.

"This is indeed the right season," said Io lightly and passed me a glass of hot chocolate, while I was seated on the porch of the guesthouse we were staying, enveloped in a blanket. I lifted the blanket and had her sit on my lap, to keep warm.
"I told you." I said lightly, smirking away gazing at the mountains as the faint light was giving into the veil of night. I turned to look at her again and gave her a kiss on the lips.

We were on a short trip for winter sports. We spent most of the days visiting the Kaimaktsalan ski resort. After hours of skiing and snowboarding with our friends, we went to the nearby hot springs for a bath and finished with dinner at a local restaurant. Today was our last stay at the place as from tomorrow we would head back home and to work. It had been some time since I saw Io completely relaxed and carefree like the past few days. I refrained from mentioning her memory gaps or anything else that would spoil her joy, I just didn't want to see her smile leave her face for a single instant.
"Thank you for this."
"The chocolate?"
"Yeah, I thought you were taking a shower and I wanted to enjoy this view once more while there was still light. Otherwise, I would have prepared it..." She stopped me by placing her index finger on my lips as she usually did.
"I know, it's ok." She said softly while looking at me straight and nodding lightly. I nodded as well. As it got windier, I touched her wet hair to find out they were getting cold. I tried to lift the blanket to cover her head as well.
"You will catch a cold sitting with wet hair on this wind..."
"That would be the least of my problems however." She replied in indifference and adjusted the blanket in the way she preferred it. I should ask...

"How are you?" I asked purposefully, maintaining eye contact. She kept looking at me for a few seconds, then looked down and turned her gaze toward a cluster of poplars growing in the distance. The wind was bending them slightly as it was getting stronger and stronger.

"I am feeling alright" she said finally and turned to face me again. "Until this moment I had left everything behind. Now you brought me back to reality."
"Hey..."
"No, no... I mean..." I gave her time to put her thoughts in order and I watched carefully. I could see some frustration building but she took a deep breath and calmness returned to her face. "It's not something I can really let go of to be honest. I suppose that progressively I will be letting go of most things including the fact that I have early onset dementia, but the past few days have been truly healing for me in ways that may not be evident. I really felt carefree and blissful, just like back when we were in Gavdos or when we first started dating." She smiled. "I don't want to let anything go."

I took a minute to absorb what she was saying. The last few months have been like that. Keeping her condition between us was keeping our interactions with others stable, but it has been a burden for both of us and especially Io. I was supporting her any way I could, but a person's thoughts are their own. I wish I could do more...

"I am not going to let anything go. I treasure and I will keep treasuring every moment we spend together."
"After a certain point, it will not matter." She said plainly but I could sense sorrow boiling inside her.
"Socrates' dad had Alzheimer's. There were occasions he would remember something from our childhood days that we either did not recall ourselves or never expected him to recall. There were times he would share with us a memory we didn't expect him to have and we could not be sure if it was a legitimate memory or a by-product of his deteriorating memory. Socrates told me back then that it would be great if he had a picture of at least some of those that he could share with him on the spot in situations like these. That is the reason I take random pictures of you or places we've been together. I want to give you a chance to revisit those memories even briefly." Her eyes got teary.
"Thank you..." she said with her voice barely coming out, as she wiped her eyes. I held her palms tightly, spelling you are welcome.