twd imagines✨

could have saved him❤️‍🩹

word count:782
carl died and just before he did, y/n told his that he would have been a dad
~~~

'i feel sick.' i complained to michonne.

carl was out though i wasn't sure where. i was supposed to go too but i had been throwing up for days now so he said i should stay in case something happened.

'you've been throwing up for days now. maybe you're pregnant.' she joked. i didn't laugh because while she meant it as a joke she was right. her jaw dropped in shock when she realised. 'oh my god really? how long have you known?'

'a week. and carl doesn't know, i just told him i ate something out of date. please don't mention anything until i tell him.' i begged.

'of course i won't sweetheart.' she reassured making a smile of gratitude on my face.

-time skip-

carl had been home for a few days now. negan had come and started bombing alexandria.

carl was now sick, hiding in the sewers. he laid down, sweating with his head in my lap. his shirt had slipped up a bit so i saw a bandage taped to his stomach. 'what the hell happened? what is that?'

he pulled my hand away when i went to touch it. a look of guilt came to his sick, pale face 'i got bit when i was out. i'm sorry.'

tears welled in my eyes. i'm going to lose my boyfriend, my childhood best friend, the father of my baby.

i walked away, needed a minute to think. what was i going to do? do i tell him? no he needs to know. but how do i tell him that he's going to be a dad but not live to see his kid? i walked round in circles through the dirty, damp sewer, eventually finding my way back.

rick was beside him looking down at carl who was now laying down. i moved over, lifting his head, resting it on my thighs. 'carl.' his eye looked up to me 'i'm sorry i didn't go out with you. you wouldn't be in this situation if i went. i could've saved you.'

'it's okay baby. it's not your fault if you were sick.'

i looked to michonne. she said 'you need to tell him sweetie. he deserves to know even if he won't be there for it.'

rick and carl both looked at me, confused looks on their faces as i confessed 'carl, the reason i was sick wasn't why i told you. i'm...' tears fell onto his forhead, disguising themselves among his sweat. 'i'm pregnant. i'm sorry.'

he struggled to lift his hand, resting it on mine that was on his cheek. 'it's okay. i love you. and i love our kid, even though i'll never meet them.'

we sat there for a while before he drifted away from me forever. michonne dragged me out of there as we left carl for good.

-time skip-

i was now at hilltop. enid decided to help me raise mine and carls daughter who was now born. i named her lori after his mom, even though she never liked me when we were younger. enid and i weren't dating but she acted as lori's second parent which i was grateful for.

she was now a year old and i was feeding her. as i put a spoonful of apple sauce in her mouth and she giggled, liking the taste, i smiled.

'your dad would have loved your laugh.' my smile dropped. 'he would've loved you so much. if you came along later maybe he'd still be here. my fault on that one. if i weren't sick i could have saved your dad and he could raise you to be a fighter.'

i fed her more apple sauce as she smiled and a bit fell out her mouth. as i used her bib to wipe her face i told her more. 'he was sweet and caring and brave and protective. his mom told him that he could beat this world so i'm not going to jinx it and tell you the same but maybe he's watching over us. if he is i'm sure he'll help you survive because wether he is or not, he loves you very much.'

enid came in and saw me crying and i kept feeding lori so she took over for me, letting me leave and take a moment to myself.

i missed him but i was sure that i'd see him again someday. i never believed in an afterlife but i think losing the one person who i had through thick and thin in this world changed that. it changed because i wanted an excuse to believe that i would see him again in something that wasn't just memories.

~~~
i'm so sorry that i've come back to this and started off sad. i've just got to carls death and i cried for 2 hours. i will still be updating slowly as i've restarted criminal minds and am now staring a spencer reid story :)
pls vote if you liked this🫶