uncrossed (alver x og cale)

Part 4

He was probably going crazy.

He was definitely going crazy.

Alver ran a hand through his hair as he paced around his office.

He really didn't have any good explanations for his recent behavior. Sure, he'd somewhat settled into the idea that he wanted to get to know young master Cale Henituse but his behavior had branched far into the irrational.

At this point, he might as well be called a stalker.

He groaned and sank into his chair, burying his face in his arms.

What possible reason did he have to go out and meet Cale like that?

It was a cheap defense to say that Cale started it with their rather abrupt first meeting but that hadn't been this Cale. Somehow he got the feeling that if Cale knew about that disastrous kiss in Puzzle City, he would have an even more polarized reaction to Alver.

Then there was his actual first meeting with this Cale.

He'd thought it over a million times and he still couldn't understand it.

Why had he kissed Cale's hand?

Why was he so desperate to be seen as himself and not an other him ? There was the obvious discomfort of being compared to another person, of a person looking at him but not seeing him, but that discomfort ought to have faded with time.

There was no rational reason for him to remain this fixated on Cale Henituse.

Every time that he thought he got a handle on his emotions and motivations, something else would confuse him all over again. He thought he knew what he wanted when he summoned Cale to return back to the capital. That made some sense to him at the time.

But why did he go to visit him in the woods like a damn stalker?

Why was he unable to focus on his work while he thought that right about now, Cale's carriage should be arriving at the Henituse villa? It was pointless. Foolish. Insane.

Besides that, it was reckless to show up in the woods like that. Cale wasn't dumb. He would have to realize that Alver had to have been teleported there. While he had all the resources in the world as the crown prince to hire a mage or use a scroll, when there was any potential for Cale to understand his true self it really was a foolish and reckless decision.

He couldn't stop himself.

That was why he knew he was going crazy.

Rather than fade like they ought to, his interest in Cale Henituse only grew stronger. He was comfortable with a casual fascination, maybe even the tiniest of crushes, but this was getting out of hand.

He was letting go of a million things that he should do in the name of getting to know Cale better.

And there was a problem with that.

Alver sighed despondently, the tension leaving his body as he slumped against his desk and blew at a piece of paperwork spitefully.

Any efforts he might make were pointless.

Cale didn't see him , Cale saw someone else. Someone he'd apparently grown to care for deeply.

It really wasn't fair to feel like a third wheel in a relationship that he was supposedly a party in.

Cale smiled at him.