just friends

Sunday ⛪

I woke up with Brandon breathing on my neck with his morning breath which I didn't mind since certain circumstances prevent me from caring about silly things like that.

I try to get up with out waking him up and quickly go to the bathroom to fix my hair and brush my teeth. Nobodys awake yet and I check the time.

4:00? Dang that's early! I only slept for 2 hours!! I'll just stay up and make myself some breakfast.

I go to the room again to get some clothes to change into. I change behind Brandon so if I woke him up I'd have time to cover myself.

I start putting some pants on. Is it too early for pants??? Nah.

As I'm putting them on I'm making some noise that causes Brandon to rustle in the blankets. I hear the noise and stop and look at him. He's so cute. God did we really tell each other we loved each other?

Well I'm glad we did. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I finished changing and left the room but as I closed the door I stepped on one of brandons little brothers Lego's. Ouch.

As I fell I pulled the door and it closed a little louder than I thought. I wasn't thinking about that now, I was focused on my injured foot. Those Lego's freaking HURT!!!!!!

As I was caring to my foot the door opened behind me and I looked behind me and it was Brandon. He just woke up and he was yawing and asking "why are you up so early?"

"I......dk" I said.

He giggled and asked "do you need any help?"

"Yes please" and with that he dragged me into the room and shut the door behind him.

He dragged me to our "bed" and pulled the covers over me and got under as well.

"What do you wanna do?"
I asked.

"Honestly I just wanna sleep" he replied.

"Ok goodnight" I said leaning in for a quick kiss.

He stopped me and said

"Hold on" he gets up and goes to the bathroom and I'm assuming he brushed his teeth because he came back with minty breath ad he kissed me. It wasn't a kiss though. He leaned on top of me and made out with me kinda.

He goes to bed and I realized that I changed for nothing.

I'm laying with my back towards him and he turns and puts his arm on top of me and his face in the crook of my neck.

"mmm you smell good, what is that?" He asked fully awake.

"Sweat from how hot it is."

I reply expecting him to give a disgusted look but instead he leaned in closer inhaling the scent from the inside of my body... Ew.

"Eww stop haha" I say playfully and he just laughs.

"so its 4 what do you wanna do since your fully awake?" I asked.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"This is real right? I mean I'm not gonna wake up and this..." He motioned at me and him "... Is gonna be all over?

I leaned in seeing how worried he was that his delusional thoughts were accurate.

I leaned in and he stared at me with a little pouty face and I smiled.

"You did good kid..." I patted his bare chest. "...you did good." He started giggling and leaned toward me and gave me a kiss.

I hummed in pleasure while we were kissing and I felt his lips turn into a smile as he said "we have to go to church today you know that right?"

I pulled back and made a completely sarcastic offended look at him and said "why yes and what exactly have I done wrong?"

He laid down on our "bed" with his arms behind his head and I rested on his chest.

"Well your gay and I'm bi and I don't exactly believe in god but I mean what if he is real?"

I looked up at him with a look of confusion as he went on.

"I mean what if what were doing is wrong and were both going to burn for it... Hell isn't a place you can be happy in I'm guessing and I've heard we all have our own. I think mine would be..." He went on.

"Not being able to have you in my life. Just living and knowing that you don't know I exist or this parallel universe where your straight or just a world where you don't exist."

I sat up from his chest and looked down at him while his face describe the fear he felt of loosing someone important to him.

"Hey, you know I don't exactly believe in that stuff either but if I can't be with someone I love based on their gender than I don't care who made us." I continued.

"Did you know that back in the day guys used to have sex with other guys and they weren't considered gay? You were considered a homo only based on the way you acted." I paused and looked at his face as he smiled.

"Most of them were most likely christian or some type of religion. But my point is they didn't care because it wasn't wrong to them. If the standards have changed by humans and not god then who the hell knows if being gay is a sin at all.

He looked at me and sat up satisfied with my reply and leaned in and kissed me on the fore head.

He then leans back and looks at me while at the same time cupping my cheek.

He leaned in a gave me a deep passionate kiss as if it were our last. We were both kissing and then suddenly were on the ground and hes on top of me... Oh god I thought... He thenslides his hand down to my shorts and slowly lifts his hands back up but into my shorts.

"Brandon (kiss) no don't." He ignores my response to his hormones and keeps goi

"JORDAN!!!!" My mom yells at me as she sees me on my phone with my headphones on. Not aware I'm writing a love story about me and my best friend.

"Yes?" I reply in a bored and tired monotone.

"What are you doing? I asked you to clean this room, look at how dirty this is you've got trash everywhere and..."

My mom goes on but I don't have the energy to listen to her yelling at me for something as small as making my bed and picking up some candy wrappers off the floor.

I say ok after she finishes and she storms off mad at the world for not having expensive jewelry and a nice home and the perfect husband or kids that won't fight with her.

My mom got pregnant with me at 17 years old and is no longer in a relationship with my real dad. My step dad raised me but my parents think that just because they're parents that everything they say is right. Like they have literally said that before.

I love them but to a certain extent. I think its the same with me and my little brother. We fight all the time and even when we try to get along our parents just find a way to avoid it from happening.

I'm 16 as of the thirteenth of may. One year closer to my peacful and quiet life.

You know sometimes I know my parents regret having kids. We basically live paycheck to paycheck and whenever we do get money we can save my parents decide to spend it all.

I know they mean well because they spend it on vacations but... Everyones always mad or frustrated or just unhappy with our family.

Were broken but we don't ever bother to fix our selves because it will always lead to more problems and more cracks.

I start to clean my room and do as my mom tells me and look down at my phone and wish that everything that I've written down on that phone was real or that some if it was true... Just some... But its not.

What really happened whenever I spent the night with him was nothing like that.

We just talked or played video games and went to bed. And the next morning we went to church. And I tried to reveal my feelings for him but I couldn't. How could someone like him have feelings for me the same way I have feelings for him whenever he thinks were...

Just Friends?