Mind of a fan

Friends

I heard someone saying: " Friends are family, we can choose!"

Throughout my life, I had many friends. The ones who are there just for the time I need, and those who will stay for my whole life.

When I was younger, I thought that I could be friends with everyone. I didn't judge people and I had very big expectations about them not judging me. But this is not how life works.

I had two best friends. First was in my grammar school. And we lost connection after grammar school. But well, her family was really religious and she went to Catholic school after. She graduated, got married and became a great mum, so as i know for now, she has 3 or 4 kids?

Second one was in my high school. We were extremely close. We did all the stupid things together. She knew all about my dating, love and other affairs. Yeah, i am not an angel. But after her dad passed, she changed. She became controlling. She was afraid to lose any other person she loved. I can barely have a boyfriend without her tears coming down her face, begging me not to live her for him. But he met a man, she fell in love. As i know they are married for a year now and i am extremely happy for her. We lose a touch, while she started to date him. But here and there i still check up on her. She was a big part of my life and a person I could tell even the most stupid thing. She understood it all, and was even stupider than me. I respect her even now!

As I said before, I had lost touch with her. I got some other friends. But not the real ones. Well, not right away!

After I graduated from the University, and got my Masters degree, I was quite alone for some time. Then I got to know some people around where I lived in that period of time. But none were close to being best friends.

I used to be alone. I worked in many places right then. Mostly some bars. I know I got a really high education and I worked in bars. I couldn't get a job in my town. So I took whatever just to have some money. And, well after some period of time i had met my ex there.

It was after a long time being single really. I had a few crushes, but it didn't work out. I think that is mostly my fault. Because when I have a crush for someone I do it with my heart and soul. They just took advantage of me.

This one was different, well at the beginning. We had a really good time, till the first kid was born. After my life was pure disaster as you know. Well, after i left him, i put my life together and made myself a new life.

In a few weeks I have met a lot of new friends. It all started when I decided to take acting classes. I had to drive there and back every Wednesday, for about an hour and a half. But it was all worth it. I have met many different people there, with the same or similar point of view that I have. We had amazing adventures and laughed evenings away. I lost my stage fright there and I became much more confident as I am. Like I mentioned before, only one difficulty was that I took it with me.

Ever since all the movies and series that I am watching are different to me. I can see how things were made, I can see all the technical difficulties and mistakes. I can really see all the mistakes actors make, before it was all hidden to me. And with that knowledge i went watching my favourite actors series and two movies.

There is how I found out how amazing an actor he is, and how much he put himself into every role. I was more and more drawn to his work. I had decided that I wanted to meet him and discuss his work with him.

It was 2021, Covid wasn't regular flu back then just jet, ( Yes my Country treats it like regular flu now) so conventions were out of the reach. Then I noticed an option for an online meeting, but it was dated the previous weekend. So I missed the big opportunity. Meanwhile I started to chat with other of his fans. I was asking all around if there is any kind of meeting available. There wasn't really any, so just my luck, right?

From all this, I got away with a really dear friend. We are still very close. Almost every day we are joking around, looking for new things on Instagram, well we are just keeping each other sane. But we became that close in November 2021. That time we both won a chance for a meeting with our actor. We were starting to talk all about what we were going to ask him. I really want to know how he decided to become an actor, but I didn't have any other questions. I am aware he is like a regular man and he likes his privacy, so i really didn't want to invade it. With my friend we had put together some fun game for him and we waited for his announcement of a date and time, when he will be available.

In that period of time he was busy with filming so all this has been postponed till January. As lucky as I was to get the chance to meet him, I was quite unlucky on that day. I was well prepared. Klara was asleep. I was just waiting for him to turn on the camera. 3...2...1... My baby girl started to cry so hard, I was almost flying to her. And it happened in a moment,he opened his camera. What a chance? Well, I spent the next 25 minutes with my girl. When I returned, I knew I lost that time and nothing could give it back. For goodness of his heart, I could spend 5 minutes that zoom, just to ask him a question. But it wasn't everything I wanted to do. My baby girl was still sleeping badly so that night was lost. I returned to her after the conversation and fell asleep.

My good friend filled that 25 minute gap up. She told me everything about that conversation. I was really sad, and that chance never came again.

Few months later in 2022, I gave it another shot, by visiting London. There was supposed to be a live conversation, but after that Covid disaster the organisation responsible for it was financially unstable. So everything was cancelled. I still went there, I met my online friend and we explored all around London. When I was leaving I felt like I left part of my soul there. It is an incredible City.

For what it's worth, I will try it for the third time this July in Milano. Wish me luck!

P.s From all this, I have an amazing friend, whom I can trust and tell almost everything. I am so blessed to have met her. Thank you for everything!