Casting Debbie

Chapter 33

Debbie hadn't slept. And she couldn't convince her legs to get out of the car and walk into the studio. She hadn't seen any of these people since her brother's death. Or, since Lou had sent that tweet, outing them to the whole world. She imagined everyone would want to express their condolences first, followed by their congratulations on her relationship with Lou.

Fuck, what was she going to do? "Get your shit together," she whispered to herself. And keep it together.

The last episode had been kept a secret, so she didn't even know what to expect. Would she have to kiss Lou? Perform another love scene? She couldn't do it. She'd break down in the middle of the scene. Cry her eyes out right then and there. Beg Lou for forgiveness in front of everyone.

She couldn't do it.

Just as she was putting the car in reverse, Amita opened her door. Her eyes scanned the car, but she didn't question why Debbie was driving a rental, thank god. "Hey. They've already started the table read. Lou was worried. She sent me to find you."

"She...did?"

"Yeah. I have a cart. Come on."

It was slow going, but Debbie collected her things and locked up her car. She sat next to Amita and held on tight, knowing Amita would take the corners at full speed.

"How are you doing?" Amita asked. "Lou said you two had a wonderful time in Napa."

God. Apparently, Lou was already in full-on acting mode. Debbie forced a smile. "Yeah, it was great."

"Good. You needed it after...you know." Amita looked at her and frowned. "Sorry for bringing it up."

"It's okay." Debbie grabbed her stomach as they raced around the last corner and lurched to a stop. She took a breath, trying to fight the nausea she'd had all morning.

"You look gray. Are you sure you're okay? I didn't drive too fast, did I?"

Amita was such a sweetheart, Debbie couldn't do anything but smile. "Would you mind getting me a cup of tea for the reading? Nice and hot?"

"Sure. Give me your stuff and I'll put it in Lou's trailer."

Debbie handed over her tote bag. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she walked into the studio. Some of the crew were there, milling around. A few of them greeted her with a gentle hug and offered their condolences. She managed not to cry.

By the time she reached the conference room, her lip was quivering but she held strong as she opened the door. Everyone went silent as they turned and looked at her. She forced a smile. "Hey, everyone. Thanks for delaying so I could bury my brother." She had to get the words out fast or she wouldn't be able to say them at all

"Of course." Dan stood up and gave her a hug. "Lou said it was a beautiful tribute to a good man. I'm sorry we all couldn't be there for you."

All Debbie could do was nod and hope she could hold it together. The only empty seat was the one next to Lou. She couldn't look at her. Not yet. Not until she was seated could she look Lou in the eye. And really, not even then. She kept her eyes on the script sitting in front of her, but she could feel everyone's eyes on her. She took a quick look around the table. All familiar faces, except one. A pretty girl with short brown hair sat across from her. The girl smiled when their eyes met. Debbie quickly looked away.

And then, she felt the tug of Lou's arm as it wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her close. And soft lips gently kissing her temple. And two words spoken in her ear. "Hey, babe."

Babe. Definitely not something Lou had ever called her before. The arm wrapped around her shoulder felt real. The kiss felt real. But that pet name - not real.