Bad habit

01

First days of school were always chaotic, and YN, despite having been a teacher for two years of her life now, never got quite used to the tantrums little kids would throw on first days — and maybe the following week, or until they felt confident enough in the school environment that they didn't miss their parents to the point of crying at the mere thought of them.

September always carried with it a nostalgic feeling that YN loved, and she usually found herself thinking about warm sunny August days spent sunbathing and eating pasta salads. Her teacher salary didn't allow much room for vacations, but YN managed to always find contentment in the premises of her hometown.

That's what she's thinking about when she walks through the school's doors that Monday morning, waving at a couple of her coworkers to greet them. She usually was far more chatty, but she was feeling fidgety at the thought of meeting her new baby students, and she didn't trust herself enough to chat with someone; who knows what she could say!

No one truly understands YN, she's younger than her coworkers and sometimes she feels like no one really cares about what she has to say. It's been that way since she was a little baby, really, so she's gotten quite used to it, and she doesn't feel bad about it.

She often wonders if maybe there's something wrong with the way she communicates, but her students seem to understand her rather well — as much as little kiddies can understand —, so she always crosses that thought off the list. It doesn't necessarily have to mean there's something wrong with her, so she doesn't know why sometimes she wonders if things would be a little different if she was different in the first place.

She wishes it came a little easier, people never really seem to understand how hard it is to talk. It's why she loves her job so much. Kids are easy to talk to, because most of the time they don't remember conversations and they never question her on why she's being quiet or in her mind, like most of her coworkers do.

The bell rings at 8.30 sharp, and YN tries to put on the most heartwarming smile she knows, because she understands sometimes first days can be though. And not just for kids.

"Hi!" She coos when she sees a little girl walking in her classroom holding her mum's hand.

"I'm Miss YN, it's a pleasure to meet you! What's your name!"

The little girl hides behind her mum's leg and YN frowns jokingly at her.

"She's shy... her name's Amy" the mum says, throwing YN an apologetic look.

"Hi, Amy! It's okay. I understand shy." She nods, crouching down on her legs to be at eye level with the small kid, "since you're the first one, why don't you choose your desk? Your mummy can help you pick it out?"

The little girl nods her head against her mother's jeans and YN smiles brightly at her.

With time, more kids start to come in, and YN greets all of them, trying to be as warm as possible. She talks to their parents and lets them stay with their children until they get accustomed to the classroom. Some of them already have friends, and it's always easier for them to let go of their parents' hands; for others, it takes a while, and YN tries to be as understanding as possible, especially with them.

When the clock strikes 9 am, only one chair is empty, and she wonders if maybe the school had mistaken the number of students who'd come in. She's about to introduce herself to the class of small kids that are looking at her with bright eyes and shy smiles, when she hears a knock on the opened door, her body turning quickly at the sound.

She feels lightheaded as she takes in the image in front of her, and she grimaces in surprise. It's Harry. The Harry.

Many years have passed since the last time she saw him, but she knows she'd recognize him everywhere and in anytime.