As Oikawa sets up his grindr profile he sobs uncontrollably. Hoping and praying that his HUNKY roommate does not hear him being emo. "OH MY GOD HE'S BEAUTIFUL" He claims as he lays his eyes on Prince Charming and his emo baddie profile. All those muscles made him drool. "Man being a prince who saves princes in questionable situations does the body good galalalala" Oikawa exclaims. Shrek overhears Oikawa and becomes really emo hearing Oikawa talking about the beauty of someone that isn't the HUNKY HUNK man(Shrek obviously).
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Shrek thinks about how he should go back to Fiona and his kids. He picks up some of his mud to accompany him on his journey back to his old swamp to see Fiona and his kids. Oikawa being too distracted doesn't even realize he has left. Shrek makes it back to his swamp and confronts Fiona asking him if she would take him back. "Please, I want to see the kids more, I can forgive you for cheating on me." Shrek says sadly. Fiona scoffs "You're too late Shrek I have found someone much better than you who is much more sexy and beautiful as well, I met her in my princess circle a while ago and after I came back from trying to get you she came to me and confessed she was in love with me. I love her Shrek. I don't want you." Those words burned into Shrek's brain. She didn't want him? Even after begging for him and after all she had done, she just threw him aside? This made Shrek even more emo. In the distance, Shrek could see Doris coming. "Was this the girl who rizzed up Fiona?" Shrek thought. "Wow her rizz is immeasurable, I could never beat her..." Shrek says visibly hurt. "Oh well, I didn't really want her anyways" he exclaims puffing out his chest.
After setting up a date with Prince Charming Baco Tell, Oikawa was looking around the house when he realized Shrek's favorite mud pile was gone. "Did he move it?" Oikawa looked around more, realizing it was not in the apartment along with Shrek. A wave of sadness washed over him. How could Shrek leave him like this? Maybe he overheard him on his grindr profile... "Oh God I really messed it up this time" he said trying not to cry. He looks at the clock "OH GOODNESS ME IM LATE FOR MY DATE YESSIREE" he yells as he starts Irish dancing all the way to the door and down the street to the nearest Baco Tell and in the door, pausing when he sees Prince Charming in all his glory. He starts drolling in the middle of the Baco Tell, over the food of course "ZAMNNNNN THE 5 LAYER BURRITO GOES CRAZYYY ON A TUESDAY" he yells, getting concerned looks from the other patrons in the store. Prince Charming is way too distracted looking at himself in the mirror to notice Oikawa in the building. Oikawa walks over to him to sit down after he got his food. "H-hey princey boy" Oikawa says nervously. "oh hey Oikawa" prince charming says uncomfortably. Prince Charming notices how hes built like a door. "Wheres the cake though?" Prince Charming asked. "Uhhhh I dont think theres cake at Baco Tell" Oikawa says confused. "Man I wanted cake bruh" Prince Charming swiftly gets up and leaves, leaving Oikawa sad and alone. A single tear falls onto Oikawa's 5 layer burrito. "No one will ever love me" Oikawa says to himself. "Not true" Oikawa hears a glorious voice "is that.. HUNKY??" Oikawa thinks turning around to see the glorious man. Shrek is shirtless as him puffing his chest earlier caused it to disintegrate. "Uhhh sir no shirt no shoes no service" says the Baco Tell employee. "The only service I want is Oikawa" Shrek retaliates "I don't get paid enough for this." The worker says. "Shrek I'm so sorry please forgive me for going on a date with someone else, I thought you couldn't ever love me and Fiona wanted you and I can't compete with her." Oikawa says starting to sob. "It's okay BIG BOY, I forgive you. Please don't leave me ever again." "Of course not SHREKIE POO <33" Oikawa yells really loud. The worker says "Can y'all leave you're being obnoxi-" "YOU'RE KILLING THE MOOD" Shrek says getting really alpha mode. Shrek continues to smash everything in his sight, completely destroying the entire store. "Um shrek? I think we should run before we get in trouble" Oikawa says "I think you're right pookie bear" Shrek says as they hurry out of the crumbles of the Baco Tell. They sprint home and cuddle in the mud piles "I love you Shrek" "I love me too Oikawa"
