Breaking Death

Death's side

I have gone by many names over the centuries of my existence. Thanatos, Weorðan, Stygian and the Grim Reaper just to name a few. I am the one that collects souls from this world and I take them to the next. It is a colorless existence, cold and at times bleak. I have never really thought about human emotions. My life is my job and my job is my life. Until I met her. I have not once wondered about life or about love. I see the messy results of it all and refuse to claim that energy. I never thought I was capable of love. I wasn't born, I have no heart to love. Until her. I watched her over time and there was something different about her and I just had to know more. I watched her live. I watched her suffer at times. Finally I gained the courage, I guess is what you would have called it. I wanted to speak to her at night. She showed me so many things about life and about being human. She changed how I viewed my existence, I began to find it beautiful. It was more than just a job, I was more than my calling. I came to know what love felt like and I never wanted to let her go and I also never wanted her to suffer the pains of what life could bring her. Unfortunately there was only one way where we could be together. Looking back on it now, it was not fair of me to ask her to end her beautiful life. That night in the rain broke me. A wave of emotion I was unfamiliar with, what I later learned was pain. I have seen pain before but didnt know it could hurt this bad. I became overwhelmingly jealous that she chose life over me, over my love for her. Granted there were things I couldn't give her but I hoped that my love was enough. In the end it was not. I was wrong but my pride could never tell her that. Out of rage and pain I said that I would never come for her. I watched her from time to time from a distance and up close when I came to take souls close to her but every time I saw her face that pain resurfaced and I can not bring myself to forgive her. Sometimes I hear her scream into the night for me. I've heard her sorrowful pleas. I don't know how to forgive her. Although I miss her and without a doubt I still love her. I just gave her the things that she wanted. Everlasting life. The life she did not want to leave for my love.