The Mistakes We Made

Confusion raining down from up high

It was my Mum's idea for me to join a mother and baby group just after Darren broke up with me. She said it would be good to have other Mums to chat with about similar issues I was going through. I agreed in some respect but Burr was not in abundance of teenage mothers, who's boyfriend had just upped and left town. It was the complete opposite in fact. I mean, I was twenty now. The locals had stopped staring at me in the street and the whispers about me getting knocked up at 18 had run cold, but nearly all the Mums at my mother and baby club were in their thirties, had husbands and had enjoyed planned pregnancies that they budgeted for and made look easy. The only mother in the same boat as me, was 17 yeah old Parys. Yes, that is Paris with a Y. Parys was nice and she seemed to listen to the advice that the older Mum's gave her, but the first session she showed up to, she wore a Bradley King t-shirt and actively hunted me down to ask questions about my celeb mate Brad which she said she was, and I qoute, 'his number 1 fan'. I wouldn't put it passed her if she was one of the idiot girls that was outside my house last weekend singing his songs and ringing my fucking doorbell.

Today she had positioned herself on a table where she was sat directly opposite me. I tried my bloody hardest not to make eye contact with her but whenever I did happen to look up, she was always staring directly at me. I glazed over a lot of the time. I had a million things on my mind. The most current one weighing me down was the DNA test I had done on Chase at the doctors this morning. It was simple enough, just a quick swab on the inside of his cheek which once out of the lab will give me all his DNA traits that I could then hand over to Brad and, if he wanted, get his own test done on himself to confirm. I hoped that Brad would get a DNA test done, as without one, I would not be able to remove Darren from Chase's birth certificate.

Making my excuses to leave a few minutes early, I put Chase's coat on and strapped him into his push chair. Just as I threw the baby bag over my shoulder Parys was there, in front of me. "Hi, Bailey." She said, her eyes wide and a stupid grin on her face. I let out a discreet sigh. "Hey, Parys, you okay? I'm just off to meet a friend, so I've gotta run." I said, getting my actual truthful excuse out there early. "Brad?" She questioned. I couldn't help but laugh. "No, Parys! Brad is elsewhere." I said flatly. "Do you know when he will be back? I have something for him." She replied, completely oblivious to the fact her kid was crying on the playmat. "Sorry, I don't know. I really need to get going. See you next week." I said trying to move the push chair. "Please give him this." She then said, thrusting an envelope into the rain hood of Chase's buggy. "Please." She said again. I looked at this girl and saw the frenzied look in her eye. "Sure." I said taking the envelope and stuffing it in my pocket. She backed off then. Content with her promised communication to the man in her fantasies.

Walking up the street I made my way to the cafe that I was meeting Seth in. He was already sat at a table and waving at me from behind the window. Getting up, he opened the cafe door up for me and helped me in with Chase. "Usual?" He asked. I nodded "Yeah thanks." I replied. He walked up to the counter to order our drinks. I busied myself with getting Chase in the high chair. Getting out his beaker and the pot of mush that I had lovingly created from a recipe from mums net, I handed Chase his spoon and let him get on with making a mess.

Knowing that Brad wouldn't really mind that I opened his fan mail up, I pulled Parys' letter from my pocket and opened it up. My eyes almost popped out my head. Now, I was a woman of the world but the sexual content of this letter was on the vile side. She went into great detail how she fucked herself with a vibrator thinking of him and how she wanted him to hold her down and fuck her in the ass. I was intrigued enough to read on until Seth came back with the drinks. "What is that?" He asked "Gross, sexualised fan letter from Parys Smith. I've been asked to give it to Bradders." I replied, reading how Parys had spread her legs in the bath and had knocked one out while listening to Brad singing. Apparently she came when he sang the lyric "I love you" which she saw as some kind of sign that they were destined to be together. She even went as far to start talking about me being her good friend. "No, this?" Seth said picking up a small, clear zippy-lock bag that had fallen out from the letter and on to the table. He gave the contents a closer look before bursting out laughing and throwing the bag back down in disgust. "It's her fucking, pubes!" He howled out, roaring with laughter. I looked at the bag and pulled a face. "That is gross! why on earth would Brad want her smelly fucking pubes." I said now getting the giggles. "Mate, Parys is a detty whore." Seth chuckled as he picked the bag up with a napkin and got up to throw it in the bin. Stuffing the letter back in my pocket, I hastily whipped out the hand gel that had been floating in my bag since Covid and gave my hands a squirt.

"So how come I get the pleasure of this free coffee?" I asked seth as it was him that had organised this little get together today. "No biggy, I just wanted your thoughts on Sheri." He said out of the blue. "Sheri? Yeah she is nice. A little plain perhaps, but you have a colourful track record when it comes to your women." I said honestly. "I'm thinking of asking her to marry me." Seth said, his eyes fixed on mine as he tried to read my immediate response. I was initially taken aback. "Erm... is it not still all a bit early for that? I mean have you met her parents yet?" I questioned. Seth shook his head. "I met her brother. I just don't want her to think that I don't care and she has hinted about marriage. I mean it could be a long engagement while we still get to know each other." He said which made me cautious. What has she mentioned about marriage. I mean you've only been together 4 months, Seth." I said. "Well we kind of spoke about where we might tie the knot and what flowers she was after. Honeymooning in Bora Bora. Just chatting it all out, ya know." He said. "Bora Bora? jesus, Seth you still live at home with your folks and work behind your dad's bar on a Thursday night. How the hell does she think you will be able to afford all that. I literally have no clue how you live at the moment by only working one day a week." I said with a chuckle.

"We could find a way." He replied. I rolled my eyes. "Did Sheri happen to mention Brad being your best man... and financial backer?" I said seeing the bigger picture. Seth looked down to his hands. "Obviously Brad is gonna be my best man... do you think Sheri is using me Bailey?" He then asked. "Is that the real question here Seth, and not about the dumb idea of proposing to her?" Seth shrugged. "Do you think she is?" He asked looking cut up. I reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "Seth, you are without a doubt a fucking catch, okay. she is punching above her weight by being with you. Just because she got carried away talking about weddings, does not mean she is using you." I said trying my best to cheer him up. Seth nodded but he didn't look any cheerier. "She broke up with me a little over a month ago. Said I wasn't what she was looking for. I was desperate and asked Brad for help. He got us a couple of sold out tickets to a Taylor Swift concert in New York that same weekend, he took care of the flights and hotel, the entire lot. She does seem to be hinting at a few things but I don't know if it's me being paranoid." He said.

I let a long exhale of air leave me slowly. "Marriage is a lot but she surely doesn't think that Brad would pay for everything she conjours up in her brain? I think you are just a bit paranoid." I said now adding Sheri to my list of worries. "I hope so... So I should hold off on any proposals?" He clarified. "Yes." I said firmly. Seth nodded. "So what is going on with you and Bradders then? Things are looking a bit... dare I say it, couple-ly, between you two lately. I wiped Chase's chin with his bib. "I have literally no clue, Seth. When he is home it is amazing and I let myself think that yeah, it is something that we could make a real good go of, but then-" "He fucks Blossom Howard?" Seth cut in, with a half smile. I hit him hard in the shoulder. "No! Then I get stupid teens handing me porn letters to give to him, or I get his fans turning up at my door in the middle of the night waking up Chase." I said as Seth handed me his phone. "Or... he fucks Blossom Howard." He said again, showing me a picture of Bradley and Blossom holding hands after reportedly leaving a restaurant last night. My eyes shut involuntary for a second, not wanting to see it anymore. "Sorry I thought you must of seen it already." Seth said. I shook my head. "I guess he has finally met her now then, huh? Did he actually fuck her, Seth?" I asked holding my breath. Seth shrugged. "I've not heard from him since the whole weird chat about this video problem being auctioned off." He said.

I sat back in my seat and took a sip of my coffee to buy me a bit of thinking time. Obviously I had been given the watered down version. "Brad told me it was a photo in a memory card stuck in a camera." I said. Seth shook his head. "Nah, it's full blown video footage of something dodgy on a memory card, stuck in a camera." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Video of what?" I asked. Seth shook his head. "I have no idea. He wouldn't tell me. My imagination is thinking prostitute." He said looking again in awe of his friends sexual activities. "Maybe? He had a few dresses couriered to me by a guy on a motor bike yesterday. It's like proper ball gown shit for this auction, Seth." I said, watching his face drop. Seth lived mostly in a white vest and tracksuit joggers. He didn't like dressing up. "Great." He said, his tone laced with sarcasm.

Taking another sip from my coffee, I tried very hard to not think about the picture Seth had shown me and ignore the ache that was very painfully emitting from my heart.