Broken Without You

Chapter 12

Your eyes snapped open as you sat up in your sleeping bag, heart pounding in your chest and body covered in a layer of cold sweat.

Memories of David washed over you as you frantically looked around suspicious and paranoid that he was still here with you, but then your eyes landed on the dying embers of the campfire, and you spotted Ellie curled up in her own sleeping bag fast asleep and safe.

That sight should have been enough to reassure you that it was over, that David was dead, but for some reason your breathing was still coming out ragged. Your body was shaking uncontrollably as you stared at Ellies sleeping face, your mind flashing back to the absolute horror and fearful look in her eyes after she got David off you.

You covered your face with trembling hands trying to get that image out of your head, but you couldn't. Ellie had witnessed it. She saw what David did and she had to kill him to save you.

Jesus Christ, she was a child. She shouldn't have had to see or do any of that.

Suddenly a hand grabbed your shoulder startling you so badly that you jumped clean out your sleeping bag. You stumbled backwards, tripping over your own feet in panic and landing on your ass with a pained wince, your entire body aching.

"Easy, easy, it's just me. It's Joel. I'm not gonna hurt ya."

You looked up to find him kneeling in front of you with his hands raised to show that he wasn't a threat. His brown eyes were filled with so much worry as he stared at you like you were a stray cat that might run away at any sudden movement.

You wanted to tell him that you were okay, that he didn't need to worry, but you couldn't speak. You couldn't say anything as you tried to control your breathing, but everything was starting to spin, and you knew you were on the brink of a panic attack.

You tried to take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself, but it was useless. You couldn't stop the tears from falling down your cheeks as the memories from yesterday flashed through your mind. You covered your face with your hands trying to stop thinking about it, but you couldn't.

"Hey, Y/N? Y/N, talk to me, what's wrong?" Joel questioned, but he might as well be talking to a brick wall because you couldn't hear him above the blood rushing in your ears.

You could feel Joels hand on your shoulder, but you couldn't respond. You couldn't pull yourself out of the memories as they flooded your mind.

"Joel? What's going on?" Ellies sleepy voice suddenly asked.

"I-I don't know. I think she's having a panic attack."

"What? How do we stop it?" Ellie questioned.

"Y/N? C'mon, baby, you gotta snap out of it." Joel begged, removing your hands from your face as you lifted your head, his worried brown eyes meeting yours.

"I can't breathe, I-I don't know what to do- I can't-" You gasped, struggling to get air into your lungs.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Focus on my voice, okay? Deep breath in, like this." He instructed, sucking in a deep breath and you tried to copy, but it was more of a shallow gasp than anything as he slowly exhaled. "C'mon. Again, deep breath in. You got it."

Joel continued to verbally coach you as he breathed in and out deliberately loudly while you mimicked him, your breathing slowly starting to even out, but your eyes were still swimming with tears.

"You're okay. You're safe. Whatever you were seeing, it's not real." He tried to reassure, cupping your face with his hands. "It wasn't real."

"It-it was real." You whispered, shaking your head causing Joel to frown as more tears fell down your cheeks.