Zaynah ✓

lii

~ Z a y n a h ~

"Desmond?"

I halted my sobbing, and my eyes shot up to the person who entered the scene.

"Laevinn?"

I felt at ease after seeing him. After all the things I just went through now, it was only natural that I needed to see a friendly face here.

But something was different this time.

This time, he looked as broken as me.

It was then that the realization dawned upon me. He was witnessing his brother's lifeless body.

In no time, he began to cry as well. I wouldn't be a human if I said that it didn't affect me. I did empathize with him, but at the same time, I knew that I had done what I had to do. Or maybe that's what I wanted to believe after taking such an irreversible step.

I couldn't apologize to him for killing his brother, simply because I wasn't sorry.

Maybe I can apologize for being unapologetic.

I shook my head in agony. At this point, I felt like I was going insane. My body wouldn't stop shaking, and my tears wouldn't stop flowing.

What have you done to me, Desmond?

After sobbing hysterically, Laevinn approached me slowly. He gently held me by my shoulders and made my shivering body stand up.

"I-I'm proud of you," his eyes showed nothing but sincerety, so I chose to believe him.

"I killed a human. Am I a m-murderer now?" I clenched at the hem of his shirt helplessly.

He gulped and blinked back his treacherous tears, "No, you're not. He wasn't a human to you, so please don't blame yourself."

It hurt even more to think that Laevinn had lost someone so dear to him, yet he was comforting me.

Did I deserve it after all?

"What now?" I wiped away my tears and steadied my breathing.

"I'll take care of everything, don't worry. You can now return to your kingdom and live the life you had missed out all this while," he tried to smile at me, "You saved yourself and your parents."

I returned his smile, "You helped me so much, Laevinn. I could never thank you enough."

"Just live happily from now on. That will be enough of a gratitude for me."

I nodded with a heavy heart, "What happens when everyone gets to know about Desmond?"

He looked away, "I'll make everyone believe that someone broke into the castle and acted out regarding the death threat. You will be safe in the end. I'll deal with the upcoming rumors and speculations as well."

I heaved a breath of relief.

"So I did it?"

He smiled at me proudly, "Yes, you did."

"So, is this goodbye?" I asked carefully.

His eyes teared up again, "I wish not." With that, he put his arms around me in a tight hug.

Even though I was taken aback, I still patted his back and returned the gesture, "Don't worry, we'll always stay in touch."

We stayed like that for a moment.

"Stay with me till the funeral?"

I was surprised by his odd request, "I will. That's the best thing to do to avoid suspicion anyway."

He hummed in response.

"I wish time just stopped right now."

I smiled lightly, "Why?"

"Because I want to hold you forever."

My eyes widened at his unexpected response.

I realized something only then.

It felt as though I was the girl he talked about before. The girl he was hopelessly in love with.

Was it me all along?

I wished not.

Because we were better off this way.

Our ill-fated relationship was not supposed to progress into anything more than just platonic companions.

As Laevinn said before, we were never meant to be.

I broke our embrace and stared deeply into his awaiting eyes.

I spoke thousands of words through my gaze, and unsurprisingly, he understood every word of it.

We shared a smile of pure sorrow.

In another life, I'd make you happy.

Because in this one, I'm far too ruined for you.