Crimson Cheeks

Chapter Eight

For the better part of the next couple of weeks, Jenna managed to ignore her thoughts. She stuck to her schedule, which she'd made sure was as busy as it could get. The long hours of filming she was doing were followed by several production-related lessons. Fencing, cello practice, and physical training to sustain her shape and versatility on set. The number of hours she had left in a day she'd spent in her room, working out her lines and perfecting her facial acting. When she would finally surpass her limit of fatigue, she'd drop on her bed like a corpse and into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It was a rather simple choice. She was choosing to escape the torment of dealing with the reality of her situation with Gwen. She wouldn't let herself grieve for her lost hope and fruitless anticipation. She feared the emotional melange that was most likely to become of her mind. She could not spare the energy to deal with that. They were almost three months into filming and she had a long way to go before she could return home.

Without realising it, she'd transformed into a blank version of herself resembling more a machine than a person. A good-functioning machine, never wasting a second of her well-timed existence thinking about how she truly felt.

Her friends noticed but decided against bringing it up, as they thought it to be Jenna's way of coping with the stress of how much the project was weighing on her. Everyone seemed to find her detachment normal. Well, almost everyone.

"It seems like you never get out of character lately.", Hunter said as he sipped on his coffee. He and Jenna were taking a break from filming one of their scenes.

Jenna lifted her eyes from the pages on her lap to look at her friend. "Okay.", she said and picked up the papers again, mumbling to herself as she was revising her lines.

Hunter sighed loudly and sat noisily on the chair next to his friend. "Jenna, don't shut me out. I know something's been bothering you for a while.", he said. "And quite frankly, this whole constant Wednesday vibe you've got going is freaking me out."

The younger woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She knew Hunter could see right through her. She decided to lie anyway. "Don't be dramatic, Hunter, I am just under a lot of pressure right now.", she said. Her eyes held a pleading expression, silently begging him not to press this any further because she really, really didn't want to talk about it.

He seemed to take the hint and decided to change the subject. "So, what are we doing for Christmas? Joy said Victor will be hosting a party for all of us who aren't going back home for the holidays.", he said.

Jenna rubbed her temples for a moment. Christmas was supposed to be fun, the holidays were supposed to be fun, and partying with her friends was supposed to be fun. None of these sounded fun to the young woman, not while she was battling her own head for absolution. She wanted to spend time with her friends and enjoy the festivities but she was scared. She was scared out of her mind that if she'd let herself be prone to enjoyment, excitement, or happiness, she wouldn't be able to push out the unpleasant feelings like the desolation of her frail heart.

It was the price she had to pay for being so unbelievably naive, thinking Gwen would just jump into whatever fairytale she was fantasizing about. She'd let herself believe it for far too long. And it was bound to take her double that long to get over it.

"Jenna?", Hunter asked in a worrying tone, forcing her out of her thoughts.

She looked at him reluctantly for a second before replying. "I don't mind going to the party.", she said. Another lie. It was unavoidable and she knew it, her friends would insist on spending the night together whether she went to this party or not.

Hunter eyed her skeptically. "Okay, but you can't show up like tiny Latina Eeyore.", he said and gave her a playful smile.

Jenna rolled her eyes dramatically. "I will wear total black.", she said and smiled, batting her eyelashes in an innocent manner.