What You Can't See (newer version)

3.

TW: self-harm, negative self talk, mention of self harm - be careful guys!!

Denki had math after the announcement, his earlier tiredness coming back in full force. He looked on in jealousy as everyone else bounced around with endless energy, already finished. He stared down at the textbook in front of him, willing his mind to work.

Kirishima had checked on him four times in less than an hour, each time Denki reassured him that he was fine. The numbers flew around on the page, mocking him. Biting his lip, he discreetly glanced around. Satisfied, Denki put a hand to his wrist and gave himself a small shock.

Just enough for his brain to shut up, long enough for him to do a few questions without any problem. Looking around again, he repeated the process. And again, and again, and again, until finally he was done.

His wrist was red, he didn't need to look down to see that. He rubbed it absentmindedly, it's not like Denki liked shocking himself. It just got the job done, and sometimes that was all he needed.

Looking down at his page, he saw a mess of numbers and sighed softly. Even though he knew he was getting the right answers, it definitely didn't look like it. God, he didn't understand the point of this! If he could do the problems in his head why does he have to write it down? Better yet, why does he have to relearn it?

It wasn't even the fucking test yet, this was just a random revision worksheet that was handed out. And it took Denki the whole damn period to figure it out. He was fucking pathetic.

Luckily for him, Shinso came along to snap him out of his spiral. "Hey, you done with yours?" Denki couldn't muster up the energy to talk, so he just nodded. Conjuring up a smile he knew was nothing like his usual.

Shinso knew it as well but didn't mention it, giving Denki a smile of his own. "Do you mind if I cross check my answers with yours then?" Denki blinked twice, before fully comprehending the question.

"Oh yeah, no problem! But are you sure you want to use my answers? I'm not very smart," he laughs self deprecatingly. "It's also super messy, God knows I can't read my own work, let alone you!" He adds on in the hope that he doesn't sound too depressing.

Shinso doesn't seem to buy it, giving him an unimpressed look. "I think that you're a lot smarter than you let on. And trust me, my work is not much better," he shows Denki his page. Denki is able to make out a similar scribble before the words decide to dance away.

He hums in agreement, before showing his page to Shinso. Shinso looks through his work methodically and swears at the last question. Denki looks over before deciding he could get away with a verbal explanation.

"Which question?" He asks, tapping his pencil on the desk. Shinso puts his hand on the back of his neck. "Ah, the pythagoras one, I've always been pretty shit with pythagoras." Denki laughs and sends him a sympathetic look.

"Can relate! What are you struggling with?" Denki spends the rest of the lesson helping Shinso and finds that his smile is genuine throughout it all. Shinso, who never once called him stupid or dumb. Shinso, who trusted his work and his answers. Shinso, who is the first person to ask for his help.

Denki doesn't know what to think. Maybe Shinso's kindness is a manipulation tactic. Maybe it's a prank. Fuck if he knows. Honestly, he doesn't specifically care. He leaves math class in a good mood and for the first time in a long time, he finds himself laughing without force.

It also helps that they have English next. And as long as he doesn't have to do any reading, it's most definitely Denki's favorite class. No one else seems to share the sentiment, but Denki doesn't mind. He can make people happy, that's what he's there for anyways.

He's cracking a joke with Mina when Bakugo pulls him outside of the classroom. Denki looks at him in confusion. "Yo Bakugo, class starts pretty soon, is there a problemo?" He asks, making sure his tone is light.

Bakugo narrows his eyes, he stares at Denki, Denki twitches uncomfortably. "Show me your wrists," Bakugo says finally. Denki tries to hide his horror at the request. He was sure no one was watching when he shocked himself.

Then again, he was pretty distracted. Caught up in his own thoughts about how he was practically certain that he was going to fail the test. He plays it off with a laugh, "dude! That's so weird, is showing each other our wrists some sign of friendship?"

Bakugo doesn't say anything, just looks at Denki expectantly. Denki laughs again, growing more and more uncomfortable as he tries to think of what to do. He can't show Bakugo his wrists, Bakugo will freak out and overreact.

He also can't play it off, Bakugo has built up a reputation of not taking anyone's shit, and it still stands even with his friends. Denki bites his lip and feels panic building up in his chest. Bakugo starts to look impatient but before he can say anything, Present Mic comes up behind them.

"Come on, little listeners! Class is about to begin," Denki thanks every God he knows, including Pikachu. He also sends a silent thanks to Present Mic, who unknowingly saved him.

Bakugo looks pissed, but files into the classroom without another word. Denki follows behind, deciding to avoid Bakugo at all costs. Mic closes the door behind him and starts up the lesson.

HELLO

okay, another chapter done! getting into more of the angst now. i'm pretty excited for this story, mainly cause i'm just writing it for myself and my weird brain rot. but i hope you guys share the sentiment!!

see you in the next one :D