everything has changed

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

I saw him yesterday for the first time. It hasn't even been a whole day since I saw him, and I can't stop thinking about him. He's all I can think about. His eyes are stuck in my mind, they're all I can see. The most evergreen eyes I've ever seen. The deepest and brightest eyes that ever looked into mine.

I don't know anything. I don't know why it's making me feel this way, all of this. Just him. It's like I started living yesterday. It's like, yesterday, when I stumbled down the hallway, arms and hands full, trying to get the door before it would've closed, when he held it open and looked in my eyes I took my first breath. Ever.

All I know is that I want to know him. Everything about him. His name, for starters. When his birthday is. What keeps him up at night. Where he comes from. His dreams. His parents. His brothers, sisters, if he has any. Why he looked so precious, like something that you couldn't let go. So precious, but at the same time, so fragile. I want to heal him, whatever he has that makes him feel wrong. I wanna know him the same way I want him to know me. I want to hold him at night. To comfort him when he breaks down. To tell him everything's gonna be okay. To be next to him when he wakes from a nightmare. But also to cheer with him when he archives a goal of his, whatever they are. When something good happens to his friends, and know them too. I want to laugh and joke with him, but also to be able to show him my deepest parts.

Because I've changed. Or maybe, I should say, returned. Returned to who I was before. Before everything, before life changed. Before I lost everyone and the fields became malls and the people I had known my whole life became strangers. Before I was alone. Before my yonder faded.

And now, I feel happy, again. I feel free, I feel hopeful. It's like my hopes have been in a cardboard box hidden in the back of my closet, and now they are finally calling for me again, like they want to be dusted off.

Because that simple "Hello" changed everything. All I have of him are two green eyes and five little, simple letters that make up one so simple word that changed my life, my mind. It really changed my mind, about what to do tonight, and I think if it wasn't for him, now I wouldn't be here cuddled up on the couch with "the notebook" and fries.

He has the Alex face, his name could be Alex, he spreads Alex energy. I don't know if I make any sense. I don't even know if spreading Alex energy is a good thing or not.

It's raining. It's raining down on me. I'm a flower, Iris, I'm purple and I was getting brown, I was getting dry. And now it's raining down on me. Thank you, possible Alex, for making it rain down on me.