Savior

24. Faintness

I'm laying in my bed looking at the ceiling. The past few days had been too quiet but of course It wouldn't last.

I had locked my bedroom's door and didn't open it since Friday. I don't know if it was all the memories coming back or just that I was tired but I couldn't feel any happiness.

My friends had came several times to check on me but I never opened the door. I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted  to drown in my beds sheets.

It was 2 am and I was still awake. I hadn't slept well lately.

It happened a lot. Those depressive episodes.

Suddenly I heard someone trying to open my door. I didn't worry because I knew they couldn't do it.

At least that's what I thought. The door soon opened and Hunter's figure appeared. I looked at him with no emotion on my face while while his was full of worry and sadness.

He walked to me and sat on my bed. He tried to hug me but I pushed him away.

" Ava, I need you to tell me what's wrong. I can't stand seeing you like this. " He whispered to me.

I didn't answer. I was lost in my thoughts trying to fight my demons.

I could hear those voices talking to me.

Let go.

Let it drown you.

You're broken.

He doesn't love you.

Everyone you love ends up leaving you.

I started hitting my head to make them stop. I was crying, screaming. I was in pain and there was no one to get me out of it.

I felt Hunter grabbing my arms to stop me from Hurting myself. He then pulled me closer to him without a word.

I sobbed in his arms as he kept kissing my head.

" I don't know what wrong with me. " I whispered.

" Nothing is wrong with you. You'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. " He answered.

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to tell him he was right. But it wasn't possible. I didn't believe it.

He laid me down and didn't let go of me.

" Please, Ava, sleep. " He begged.

I couldn't. I had tried everyday but the voice were too loud. They didn't want to let me sleep. I tried taking pills but even that didn't work.

I was so tired. If only I could fall asleep and never wake up, I would.

***

I was playing with Hunter's hair while waiting for the night to pass.

He had been moving the whole night. It seemed like he was having a nightmare.

It was 5 am and I still couldn't sleep. So instead I was cuddling him while he was asleep.

I was starting to feel better after out talk. I guess he really was helping me.

I saw his eyes slowly opening. I let go of him and he looked up at me.

" Hi. " He whispered.

I just smiled as an answer. He got out of bed and lifted me up.

" What are you doing ? "  I laughed.