For Once I Remain Lucid In Your Presence.

Good evening, my good sir. It has been a while since you were away. Nay, maybe not long, only a day or two. Yet it feels like a peaceful good decade without you. In fact, you are always here for me. Did you say no? Sir, you are blatantly wrong, and you know it. I am only slightly more sensitive to your character. 

Explain yourself no more. Please have a seat. See, look around. Such an organised chaos. Bottles of skincare products, pens and pieces of paper scattered on my wooden desk. Nibbles of chocolate on the grey carpet. Hey, at least my bed doesn't resemble a dumpster. I swear I can't tidy my room when I don't feel like it. Everything falls into the right place once I am in the mood. Like when spring is tending the young flowers and the warm sun highlights their vibrant colours, my day seems so effortless. Whereas when it is— Anyways, I digress.

Now why are you here? The reason doesn't matter. The truth is I can't kick you out. No one can stop you from lingering here. For now, may as well have another chat with you. Where did we leave off last time......

Haven't you realised that you are one ancient curse? We fear you. Better worded, we are in awe. We spare no effort to stay distant wherever possible. That's our nature. All animals find you aversive. The prey's instinct is to run away from its predator and struggle when it gets caught, with no acceptance until you've arrived. We are but with higher sentience. Even those who voluntarily followed you must first endure the same instinct. Though much has been invented to delay your arrival since the dawn of humanity— Rituals, magic, surgeries, and medicine. There's an entire discipline which fights against you, which people are proud of participating in. But then (rather hilarious), they try to banish you completely! Yes, can you imagine such a future, that you are exiled by mankind? I mean, what an irony! What would they do after that? Can they afford the consequences of challenging your laws?

Imagine a man who's in good health and shape and has good morals. This man, favoured by the whole universe, is protected from you and immune to any illness, accident and ageing. Would you conclude this man would live happily ever after? I bet not. But let's not conclude hastily. Actually, he may first thrive in life with the time he possesses. Let's be optimistic: He'll earn himself a great fortune. Then maybe he'll travel around the world. He'll be charitable and do good deeds for the less fortunate wherever he goes. He'll have a beautiful family with the love of his life and a few children. He'll try everything— exotic food, rock climbing, skydiving, space tours— anything. Sooner or later, however, he'll also witness more misfortunes, for you spare no one but him. He'll watch his wife and friends getting old. See their hair tainted silver over time, their firm bodies become saggy, their limbs less nimble, and their voices weaken. Then later reaped by you. Eventually, his children will undergo the same fate.

At that point, this immense grief corrodes him, like acid penetrating his skin, a slow torture. He realises that nothing matters in the eyes of the universe, not even the extinction of all species. All intimate relationships will either end in a quarrel or perish over time. The businesses he has established also can't prevent the boredom that starts to consume him. To counter, he will finish all the university degrees, read every book on the shelves, take on different occupations, and meet another hundred people. Then he'll shower the poor with bank notes, gamble in casinos worldwide, and sleep with endless women in his mansions. Until those also become unbearable, he'll do anything— and I mean anything. He will steal from the beggars whom he once kindly helped, rape the women who previously refused him, and murder and torture......

What, you don't believe in me? Of course, you have no reason to. You don't care. This man is merely made up for the sake of the conversation. Maybe he will be experimented on by distinguished scientists. Maybe he can live up to being a lifelong ascetic saint and be pronounced a messiah. None can be sure... Though in fact, if more humans become the heirs of immortality, it'll most likely be disastrous. See, as much as we avoid admitting it. Most of us can't handle boredom. Yes, many say they desire a stable life (including me), although what it really means is: "A life with a modest amount of challenges and intense emotions, but also with a good supply of joy". We'd rather live a life that resembles a sine wave than a flat line. We need changes, a reoccurring cycle of highs and lows. We need to keep ourselves occupied. I also know I should not compare divinity to mortals, but if there's only one god, they must be lonely, maybe that's why the world was born.