Fire gleams gold in your eyes. You're intoxicating. You. You were right. You were my always and forever. I felt so seen and heard. Finally letting my towering walls crash hard. I met you at the most vulnerable time. The time everyone around us including you and I had to be the same. Out of all 90; you chose me. We marched in synchronization. Tall and proud. Small and scared. We swapped gazes of light during a never ending darkness of yelling. Comfort in pain. My friend, my lover, my enemy. Quiet. The word to describe you. Sly. Disconnected. Fearless or much more fearful? My dear you were all. Pleated strands of love were soul tied into us. Our spirits begging to intertwine. Laughing, crying, screaming. In love. It's a quarter after 3 and I Don't want to sleep. It's half past 4 and I don't want to leave the phone. I know. It's you. Worlds colliding and swimming together. Parallelism. Contrary to all, we were meant to be. Heavy worded arguments and assaults meant we cared. I cared; you. You never cared. You wept and your drops of acid scorned me and anchored me into the position I would call, "your wife". My eyes jaded by a narcissism I've never seen before. The only tenderness we saw was in the way we held each other after one of us swore to leave. A 1000 leaves fell that fall, millions of snow flakes melting that winter, flowers growing and wilting that spring; summer was cold. You are cold. Why? The one question I am always left with when it comes to you. You. A cluster fuck of memories and sorrowful promises you could not keep. Change. We all do it. No, you can't. Why? Course salt agitates my heart. Burn. I burn for my soul back. I screech. From below my shadow ponders why the sun has gone and why my eye only sees darkness. Shame, guilt, contemplation. You. Commotion in my mind. My nerves hurt. My head feeling like a marble on a slanted slope with no end. Rough edged thoughts. Vacancy, worthless, vain. You. You are happy. I'm a shell in the corner. I'm starting to shine. You're disturbed. Miles and oceans separated our hearts. Our own bodies separating our love. Engrossed in patching leaks and bandaging shattered pieces. We are no longer. Fire turned to ash stricken rubble. Fallen angels. Crumbling gold. Crushed copper. If tomorrow we had to part ways, I'll still love you always; always and forever. But the sad reality is, if tomorrow we had to part ways, you would turn and look back but never with an expression of remorse. Always and forever.
