her disappearance

19

ANOUSHKA

Creighton was gone by the time I woke up and it gave me time to reflect on those stupid thoughts I was having.

It's stupid.

Ridiculous.

Wrong.

It's not real. I can't be falling in love with Creighton. I don't catch feelings for people, especially Creighton.

I care about him, which is surprising to me. I don't think I ever imagined myself and Creighton actually being friends but can I imagine a romantic relationship with him? I'm not sure.
I'm capable of loving but incapable of being loved.
What I do know is that everytime I see him, my heart races. Every time he calls me angel, stupid butterflies gather in my stomach.
God, please take this feeling away. I can't be in love with Creighton Reid.

And those stupid kisses he made me do. It's also all I can think about because now all I want to do is kiss him. I want to feel his soft lips against mine and I want to know if he's as good of a kisser as he looks.

"Luca came with me to my appointment." Wren tells me as we walk to the cafeteria.

"How did it go?"

"The baby's healthy." she says, smiling. She hasn't started to show at all yet. Only me and Creighton know about her pregnancy.

"Shit." she mumbles. I glance at her and I follow her eyes to where she was staring. Creighton was sitting with his friends but a girl was sitting right next to him.

My stomach churns and an uneasy feeling crawls inside of me. You're the one who told him you didn't want a relationship with him.

"Anoushka." Wren sympathetically says.

I shake my head. "It's not like we're dating," I say, dismissing her. The words felt like acid inside my mouth.

Wren signals Luca over. "Who's that girl?" she asks, her tone full of malice.

Luca sighs and glances at me. "She's Kai's friend but if you ask me she's way more interested in Creighton than she is in Kai." he says as if he's disappointed in what Creighton was doing.

I sigh and look down at my lunch. "Keep your head up, Anoushka. If it makes you feel better, he keeps staring at you." Luca says, amusement filling his voice.

Butterflies fill my stomach at Luca's words. Was Creighton really looking at me? I glance in his direction and his eyes were on me. My body ignites with warmth at the heat of his eyes that I couldn't even look away. "Anoushka." Wren says.

I force my eyes to her and I blurt my following words. "I'm going to Luca's party." I declare, as my eyes shift to Creighton and the girl. He was laughing and she was smiling and whispering something in his ear.

"Should we leave?" she asks.

"Why would we leave?" I reply, frowning.

"You seem angry." she murmurs.

"I'm not angry." I reply, swallowing my sandwich.

She shoots me a look and I sheepishly grins at her.

•••

I sit in my car as I eye my parent's house. My outfit isn't completely inappropriate. I was wearing a cream sweater dress with thin tights. I reluctantly get out of my car and make my way to their house. I knock twice and my mum opens the door.

"Hi Anoushka," she says, smiling softly at me.

This was the side of my mother that I adored. The side that was soft and gentle. The side that made me feel like she still loved me.