swallow my pride || wangxian

3

I showed up in front of his doorstep just like we discussed. 7pm, right after dinner. I knocked, and he opened the door almost instantly.
"Lan Zhan.", I said, smiling as soon as I saw his face in front of me, "It's cold, let me in." He stepped aside, quickly, as if to apologize for not doing it earlier, but he didn't say anything.
Then, as he closed the door: "Do you want to take a bath? Are you cold?"
"You never let anyone in here, do you? And now you're asking me if I want to bathe?", I grinned at him, "Would you join me?"
"I've never done that."
"Neither have I, but we could-"
Lan Zhan cut me off: "Yes. I'll get some hot water."
I couldn't help but grin at how fast he agreed. "Alright. Hurry up, or I'll get sick." I said, sitting down on his bed. It was big, way too much for just one person to sleep in it. His room was bigger than mine, it even had it's own small fireplace.
Lan Zhan had already gone to his bathroom, so I couldn't resist but open my pants. Grabbing my semi boner through the thin layer of clothing, it was hard to keep the moan that had built up to myself.
"Oh, fuck." I mumbled, my thumb stroking over the head of my cock, wetting the whole tip with pre cum. "Lan Zha-an.." His name sounded majestic on my lips.
I couldn't but close my eyes and imagine him kneeling in front of me, opening my legs so he could sit in between, staring into my eyes. He would take my dick into his mouth, slowly, but deeper and deeper every second. And I'd grab his hair, his soft and silky and perfect hair, and push him further onto my cock.
I'd make him choke on it, I'd let him be the dirty whore he always seemed to be when he was hard. I'd talk to him, say: "You're so good, Lan Zhan. So good. Mh- Keep going, just like that."
And he'd moan in response, he'd grab my thighs and his fingers would leave bruises on them. He'd draw back slowly, his tongue tracing the brief veins on my cock, and then he'd lick over my tip. Over and over, like it were some kind of ice cream. Closing his lips around it, he'd suck, and suck, and suck. Until I'd cum in his mouth, and he'd swallo-
"Wei Ying.", I opened my eyes, saw Lan Zhan standing in the door frame to his bathroom, "You can come."
I did. Leaving my pants on his bed, I started undressing as I followed him deeper into his quarters, where probably no one besides Lan Zhan had ever been.
Awkwardly, he stood there, barely any clothes on his body left. He seemed shy, all of a sudden, couldn't look into my eyes, even when I said his name. "Lan Zhan?", I repeated, "Are you shy?" There was a mocking tone in my voice, but he didn't dare look at me, not when he just blushed.
It was only a brief rosy tone, but with his usually nearly blueish cheeks seemed red all of a sudden. "C'mon.", I said, walking over to him, "Let's bathe together."
"Do you want to.." Lan Zhan said, barely able to keep speaking as how embarrassed he seemed: "Do you want to do.. the things in there? The things we did in the woods?"
I undressed further, dropping the last piece of clothing onto the ground and exposing my whole body, for the first time in front of him. I could see him staring at my cock, leaking at the tip as it was. "Are you asking me if I want to jerk off with you in there?"
"Y-Yes." I don't think I've ever hear the great Hanguang-Jun, the Twin Jade, Lan Wangji, stuttering (if it wasn't while having sex, of course).
"No, don't worry.", I smiled, "I'll hold back 'till we come out of the water again. Jerking off in water isn't as fun as it seems." I came towards him, my hands laying on top of his shoulders and stripping down the last layer of his robe.
He stared at me the whole process long, his eyes never leaving my face. He watched me open the robe further and further, but at his hips, I stopped: "You're sure you want to be in there with me, right?" I looked up at him, and I couldn't but smile at him.
"Yes." He mumbled. So I let go and let it fall to the ground, then, walking over to the (immense) bathtub, I stepped in. And nearly burned myself. "Fuck, that is hot." I hissed. Unbelievable, since the Gusu Lan Clan was known for their cold healing lakes and their 'resistance for the cold', but Hanguang-Jun seemed to bathe in lava.
"Hell, did you take this water from the kitchen? I feel like I'm melting." I mumbled, barely able to sit down in there.
I watched Lan Zhan fight to hold back the grin forming on his face: "I always bathe like this. I have a spring connecting to my room. It's.. hot."
"You smiled." I was beaming, probably looking at him like he just saved my life with the way he grinned at me.
Instantly, his glance turned cold again. He sat down, right in front of me, as he said: "I did not. You must've messed up." The bubbles in his bath were so high, that I could barely see him anymore with how deep the water was, too. Lan Zhan took some of them, then coming closer to me. And smacking them into my face.
"Oh, you've gotta be kidd-" I tried, but instead I got some fed into my mouth. "Lan Zhan, that is disgusting!" I mumbled, spitting it out, but the soapy taste remained. He didn't stop now either, rather continuing to mock me. Blowing foam into my face, wetting my hair with it and always dodging as I tried to to the same with him.
"You're horrible, Lan Zhan! Look at me, you're all dry while I'm drenched in water over here! I'm not gonna let you cum for ages later, if you won't stop this now!!" I tried, but he didn't care. He kept getting on my nerves, and I kept on defending myself. After a while, he seemed to get tired, so I got back at him. I straddled his waist, I watched him squirm underneath me, and I sat down on his waist. I felt his cock in between the cheeks of my ass, but I ignored it as best as I could.
So I took his hands and pinned him down underneath me. He tried to escape, but it didn't work, especially not as I wiggled my ass, purposely making him feel how much in control as I was. I felt his cock hardening, saw him throwing his head back against the edge of the bathtub, closing his eyes and enjoying what I was doing.
I couldn't resist the urge to lift my hips and stroke him a few times, him moaning quietly at my hand's motions. "You like that, huh? Like feeling my ass against your cock?" I whispered, a grin forming on my lips.
"Fuck, Wei Ying.", he looked into my eyes, "Keep talking like that."
"What? You like me talking some dirty shit to you?" I teased. This time, I felt the tip of his cock as I sat down on him again, and quickly shifted.
"Do.. Do that again." He mumbled, and I paused, but complied. Circling my hips, I watched him moan over and over. Putting some move weight on him, I let my hips sink down further, the head of Lan Zhan's cock pushing onto my entrance. And I couldn't but go further. I let him slip past it, feeling him starting to penetrate me.
"W-What are you doing?" He asked suddenly, alarmed.
"I'm-", I cut off, "Ah-" I felt him go deeper, and I knew it was about to hurt real bad, but I didn't stop. I couldn't, and neither did I want to. In this moment, I wanted to get fucked, whatever it took.
"W-Wei Ying.", Lan Zhan grabbed my hips, stopping me, "You can't."
"I want you to do it." I whined, trying to push down again, but this time, he was stronger than me.
"We can't-" He seemed helpless. He seemed like he was trying so hard not to thrust into me, and a breath away from standing up and leaving me in here alone, at the same time. "We can't, Wei Ying. Not in here, or we'll break the tub."
Then, he made me get up, and he followed me out of the bathtub just a second later. Drying both of us with towels, Lan Zhan took my hand and dragged me to his bed. He threw me onto it, but rather than climbing on top of me, he walked over to his desk to pull out a small can of oil.
He walked over, taking place between my legs. I looked up at him and mumbled: "Hurry up."
"I've never..", he stopped, "I've never done this." Then, adding: "Have you, Wei Ying?"
"No. I've had a few one night stands, but we never really.."
Lan Zhan seemed nervous. "What do you want me to do?"
Pointing to the oil in his hands, I answered: "Put some on your fingers and put them inside me." And I watched him follow my advice, step by step. Pouring some oil onto three of his fingers, he directed them down my body, spreading my legs with the other hand.
"You see it, right?", I asked, "The hole? You just-" I cut off as he pushed a whole finger inside, it slipped in easily. I mumbled, barely keeping back a moan, since his fingers were so seemingly skilled that he even slightly stroked my prostate: "Slowly, Lan Zhan. Slowly."
"Sorry.", he mumbled, then looking up and asking, "Do you do this regularly, or is everyone this loose?"
I couldn't obtain a laugh: "Did you just call me loose?"
Lan Zhan panicked. "Uh- No, sorry. I'm- I didn't-"
I brushed it off: "It's alright, I'm used to fingering myself, but nothing.. nothing more." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Briefly, but still. It felt like the broadest, most honest smile I ever received.
"Add a second one." I said, taking his hand and pushing it further in. "I'm so hard, Lan Zhannie. I need you."
"Yes.", he said, "I'll make you cum. Don't worry, Wei Ying." I got shivers at his words. Arching my back, he nudged his middle finger in, and just a second later fully out again. And inside. And out. I couldn't keep quiet, I needed him so bad.
"Shh.." Lan Zhan tried, but failed, since I kept on moaning like he was fucking me already. So instead, he kissed me. His lips pressing onto mine, opening without a second thought. His tongue touching mine, wet and warm as it was. Our lips closing, rotating our heads onto the other side. Then, repeating the same.
It took us about half a minute before I was squirming underneath him, barely able to hold back my orgasm. Lan Zhan broke our kiss, his fingers inside me slowing down before he pulled them out and asked: "What should I do now?"
"Do you..", I was way too out of breath to talk, "Do you want to be inside me?"
He seemed confused. "I just was inside you."
"I meant your dick. You want to fuck me?"
"I-I.." Lan Zhan stared at me like I'd asked him if he was an alien. His head cocked, his pupils wide with lust. His hair was still damp, some waves appearing in it as it dried. His headband was tilted, but as I tried to fix it, he said: "What are you doing?"
"It slipped. I'll do it for you." I mumbled, trying again. This time, he let me do it. He seemed weirdly uncomfortable, but he didn't act upon it.
Then, I asked again: "What now? You want to fuck me?"
"T-There's a rule.." Lan Zhan started, but I cut him off: "So you really do know every single one of those.. What? Like 3000?"
He smiled, briefly, nodding: "I do. I have to, I'm Hanguang-Jun." Adding after a second: "And that's exactly why we can't do this. There's a rule that forbids me to have sex, and not only before marriage."
"So you can't have sex at all?"
"N-No, not like that. Practically, I'm not even allowed to.. masturbate." His head sank, as if he was ashamed of doing it anyway.
"But that's stupid! Why shouldn't you be able to masturbate? Especially as a teenager, when you're just learning about how to do it? Why'd you just learn about having sex in some old books, and not be able to try it?" I asked, barely able to believe what he was telling me just now.
"I don't.. I don't know. They only told us it'd distract us too much. And they don't want to have any illegitimate kids. You know about Meng Yao, right? Why he gets treated so poorly?"
I nodded. "I do."
"We really can't, Wei Ying."
I sighed. "It's not like your nose turns bright red and you have 'I had sex before marriage' written all over you."
"I-I.. I'd really like to.. do this with you. Believe me, I really do. But I can't. If someone finds out, they won't ever respect me again."
"You don't want to turn out as Meng Yao did. I get it."
Lan Zhan seemed to be torn between me and the fact that he should not do this, even though he wanted it so bad, and he said: "Please, forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive, Lan Wangji." I got up, escaping from his grip.
"Why do you call me like that?" His voice carried a hurt undertone in it. We've been calling each other by our birth names since a while now, never have I ever gone back to Wangji after I'd started calling him Zhan.
I completely ignored his question. "It's your clan, and your rules. I know that you have to respect them, or else.. you'll get whipped. I know that. I'm sorry that I expected more from you than you were able to give to me."
I got dressed, as quickly as I could. I needed to get fresh air, I needed to get out of here. As fast and as soon as humanly possible. Then, I added: "Tell me when you're ready."
"Wei Ying-"
"Good night, Lan Wangji."