How it feels to be free,
How it feels to live with no worries,
How it feels to be alive at all?
This life don't really favor for me, and
heaven knows, this is not a life i want to live. I am not supposed living like this.
I can't go anywhere, can't do this or that, this awful life is tiring.
This is all happening because of this illness.
Day by day i am slowly giving up. Unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng pag-asa, it's been years and there is no good progress.
I sighed as i opened the glass window. I take a deep breathe habang hinahayaang damhin ang malamig na ihip ng hangin.
I am in 3rd floor on this hospital, Hindi ko maiwasang ngumiti ng mapait habang pinagmamasdan ang mga nag mimistulang mga langgam na mga tao na abalang naglalakad sa baba ng gusaling ito.
Everything is so lively, just like the blissful sun. I closed my eyes as the sunlight meet my pale skin. It's warm and it feels comforting.
"Are you already up?" I opened my eyes when i heard Pelly voice, the one who is nursing me.
"No, i am still asleep" sarkistiko akong ngumiti. She's asking an obvious question. Iniupo ko ang sarili sa sofa bago isinuot ang earphone ko. I stared at my old mp3 habang naghahanap ng magandang kanta.
"How's your sleep? Hindi ka ba nahihirapan huminga?" She asked habang nasa gamot ang atensyon nito. She's preparing my medicine na iinumin ko ngayong umaga.
"Yeah, I'm fined" i reply, bago ipinakita rito ang smartwatch na nasa wrist ko. It helps me monitor my heart rate and blood pressure.
Ngumiti naman ito bago tumango tango.
I borned with heart disease. Since i was a kid i have weak immune system and low stamina.
"Medicine for todays morning" Pelly handed me the 3 different kind of capsule along with one glass of water.
This capsule in my hand is the reason why i am still alive. I bitterly chuckled as i swallowed them one by one per minute.
Pelly face is full of satisfaction habang nakatingin saakin.
"The weather is nice, want to take a stroll?" She asked as she checked my schedule list.
"Sure. It's been a while since i go outside" nakakalabas lang ako sa hawla na ito ay kapag may bumibisita saakin, but it's been a weeks. My own mother seems to have forgotten me.
Suot ang hospital gown ay sumunod ako kay Pelly na distansya lamang ang layo saakin.
We silently walked in the hallway, I can still smell the strong antiseptic and the scent of cleaning soap and cleaners even though I am wearing a facemask. May iilang mga nurse at pasyente kaming nakakasalubong.
As we entered the foyer of the hospital, there was a loud and bustling atmosphere that welcomed us.
The sound of the crowds is quite defeaning. May nag uusap dito, may naglalakad rito.
Pelly phone ring habang nasa kalagitnaan kami ng paglakad. Nahinto ito bago ako seninyasan.
"Go ahead, mauna kana" Pelly said in a low tone.
Sinagot ko iyon ng simpleng pagtango.
The view of the garden is in my sight, it is splendid as ever. Well-maintained, with a variety of plants and flowers that are arranged in a pleasing manner.
Kahit hindi ito kalakihan ay napakaaliwalas nito tingnan.
Iniupo ko ang sarili sa bench habang dinadama ang preskong hangin. Kong ano ang kinaingay sa loob ay ang ikinatahimik naman ng paligid rito.
May iilan akong pasyenteng nakikitang lumalakad kasama ang kani kanilang nurse. Some of them are wearing dextrose and some are in wheel chaired.
Tumingala ako. All my thoughts has been cleared when i see the towering tree under the blue sky.
Seems like it's the most tranquil area that I've ever been to.
I smiled despite of the loneliness and the despair i am feeling in the moment.
Sa isang iglap ay biglang nawala ang pagkabanyahad ng paligid nang bigla na lamang may kumalampag sa gilid ko.
A fined young man with a red haired frustratedly kick the bench in the distance. Isinipa nito ang bench kahit naka cast ang paa niya.
He groaned in pain, i couldn't help but to chuckled. He seems stupid
Dahilan nang pag aray nito ang pagkahulog sa sahig ng walking cane niya. He is dumber than he looks.
Wala na lamang itong na gawa kong hindi ang suminghal habang sunod sunod na napamura.
I approach him with a smile in my face. It is the first time seeing someone who is in my age. Puro matatanda at mga bata kasi ang mga nandito, and all of them is no fun.
Iniabot ko rito ang nahulog niyang walking cane. I sat myself in the bench next to him.
"It's too early for your sour expression, dummy" i grin as i looked heavenward, resting my head in the backrest of the bench.
"Who are you calling dummy" His forehead furrowed. His unpleasant expression makes me want to tease more.
Mag sasalita nalang sana ako, when i heard Pelly voice calling my name.
"Yvette, let's go back. I have a good news" Her voice reached my ears, lumalakad ito papalapit saamin.
Tinapunan ko muna ng tingin ang lalaki sa harapan ko bago suminghal.
"So long then, dummy boy" i smirked as i give him a dismissive wave.
"Oh, it seems like you made a friend, Yvette" Pelly waved her hand to the guy. Nanangkit naman ang lalaki
"You know that he is the son of Doctor Clemente. It's good that you two get along well." saad ni Pelly habang sakay kami ng elevator.
Gumuhit ang ngiti sa aking labi ng marinig ito.
Doctor Clemente is my doctor, he's been my doctor since first i confine in this shit hole. I can't describe how strict and grumpy he is.
A mischievously smile curved in my mouth as i came up of fun idea. Doctor Clemente
