Rivals In Love (bxb) on hold

Chapter 4 - A Tangled Web of Emotions

It had been weeks since the kiss, and James felt like he was going crazy. Alex was still avoiding him, and it was taking a toll on his mental health. He was so confused about what happened to him but Alex wouldn't even spare him a glance 

To make things worse, James saw Alex making out with some random girl in the hallway. His heart felt like it had been broken, and he couldn't understand why. Why did seeing him with someone else hurt so much?

He tried to focus on his schoolwork and ignore the pain, but it was impossible. Every time he saw Alex, he felt a mix of anger and longing. He wanted to confront him, to ask him why he was avoiding him and why he had to go and kiss someone else. He wanted to kiss him again.

But he didn't have the courage. He was afraid of what Alex might say, afraid that he might confirm his worst fears that it didn't mean anything to him, that it was a mistake.

So he kept his distance, avoiding Alex as much as possible. He spent his days lost in thought, wondering what he had done wrong and why he couldn't get Alex out of his head.

He knew he had to talk to Alex, to clear the air between them, but he didn't know how. Every time he tried to approach him, his heart would race and his palms would sweat. He was terrified of what might happen if he spoke his mind.

But one day, fate intervened. They were assigned to work on a group project together, and James knew that he couldn't avoid Alex any longer. As they sat down to work on the project, the tension between them was palpable.

They worked in silence for a few minutes, until Alex finally spoke up.

"I know things have been weird between us," he said, his voice hesitant. "And I'm sorry for avoiding you. It's just that...I don't know how to deal with this."

"With what?" James asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"With this," Alex said, gesturing between them. "The kiss, the feelings...I don't know what it all means. And it's been driving me crazy."

James felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe Alex felt the same way he did.

"I feel the same way," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "I don't know what any of it means, but I can't stop thinking about you."

Alex looked at him, his eyes searching for something.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, his voice soft. "I actually care about you, James. More than I should, probably. But I don't know if I'm ready for whatever this is."

James felt his heart drop. He knew what Alex meant. That he wasn't sure about being with a guy in this way.

"It's okay," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I understand. We can just...keep things the way they are, I guess. Just work on the project together and try to be civil."

Alex nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Thanks, James," he said, his voice warm. "For understanding."

James nodded, trying to ignore the ache in his heart. He knew that he would always want more, but for now though he didn't quite understand what, this was enough. 

James lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't stop thinking about Alex, no matter how hard he tried. He knew they had agreed to keep things the way they were, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something more between them.

He had tried to distract himself by hanging out with his friends and focusing on schoolwork, but nothing seemed to work. His mind always wandered back to Alex and that moment they shared together.

James had never felt this way about anyone before, and it scared him. He didn't know how to deal with these unfamiliar emotions, and it was taking a toll on his physical and emotional well-being.

He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and he couldn't pay attention in class. He knew he had to get a grip on his feelings, but it was easier said than done.

As he sat in class the next day, trying to focus on the lecture, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Alex looking at him with concern.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, noticing the bags under James' eyes.

James forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, but he knew Alex could see through his lie.

Alex didn't say anything else, but his touch lingered on James' shoulder for a moment before he pulled away. James felt a pang in his chest at the loss of contact, wishing for more but knowing it was impossible.

He couldn't let his feelings get in the way of whatever relationship they had. He had to be strong and push them aside, no matter how much it hurt.