Noticing You (BoyxBoy)

Twelve

Philophobia
(N.)
Fear of falling in love.

Jess tried not to think about Isaac's offer yesterday. He didn't want to think about the way he looked, lights shining in his eyes and a face full of hope. The memory alone brought back chills.

He didn't understand why the big lug cared so much. He didn't understand it but a part of him loved it. Most of him, actually.

The thought of Isaac caring so much was genuinely confusing but heartwarming. It made Jess's stomach do weird things and he cursed it for.

He could not be developing a crush on Isaac Johnson.

He wished the boy would stop being so damn nice to him. It would make this process easier. C'mon man, one slur. That's all you got to say to make this stupid attraction go away.

But of course it was a lost cause. Isaac wasn't the type. He was the person everyone fell for and of course Jess had fallen too.

He hated it. He wanted to stuff his feelings deep down to stay hidden, right where they belonged.

Isaac wasn't like that. He was okay with it for now but Jess was not about to push his luck. He wouldn't let some silly crush affect his life. He could get over it, he was good at that. He knew how to get over feelings, he'd be fine.

His phone buzzed in his pocket towards the end of fourth hour. He clicked it on to look at it and saw a text from Isaac. The way his chest soared made him very mad but he was going to ignore it for now.

'Make sure to check your locker before going to lunch.'

Jess didn't know what to think of that. He did it though, once the bell rang he hopped up and ran to his locker. A muffin sat on top of his pile of books with a little sticky note stuck to it. 'Enjoy :)'

His heart beat picked up the slightest way and Jess wanted to rip it out of his chest. Why's he got to be so damn cute? I can't do this right now.

Jess shut his locker and walked away. He'd be fine. He'd just ignore it. He'd ignore it and would solely think about Isaac in a platonic way. He needed these feelings to leave.

He couldn't have feelings for a straight guy. As crazy as that was he was not about to have the cliche gay heartbreak. He was smarter than that.

Is he really straight though?

Memories flashed through his head. Isaac jokingly admitting that he thought Jess could be attractive if he smiled more. Holding his hand. The countless times he caught those hazel eyes watching him. The way his hand sat comfortably on Jess's knee and rubbed soothingly. That time they were talking and Jess swore that he saw the boy's eyes look at his lips. Wednesday morning when his hand ran down his back while telling him to go back to sleep.

All signs. They all pointed to Isaac maybe being less straight than he seemed. They all pointed to him possibly feeling the same attraction towards Jess that Jess felt towards him.

No. Stop it. You're getting your hopes up and they're going to be crushed.

Jess finally zoned back in when a hand waved in front of his face. He blinked and saw Maria blinking at him. He realized he was sitting with her and Lia in the cafeteria. When had he gotten here?

My body must've been moving on autopilot while I was zoning out.

"Where you at, Jess?" Maria asked with curious eyes. He blinked a few times before his brain lost the fog and started working again.