Noticing You (BoyxBoy)

Thirteen

'He called him a faggot.'

The slur ran around in Isaac's head repeatedly. It crept in any moment his mind was not active. It was engraving a place to stay forever.

Why did it hurt him?

He was off his game Friday morning. He kept getting concerned looks from his teammates but he knew they were more worried about the game tonight than him. He was only an afterthought.

Andrew showed concern but never asked. He was more the type that thought it best to wait for someone to tell him about the problem rather than ask about it straight up. Ki noticed clearly but instead of ask he tried to cheer Zack up. It wasn't working.

He was lost in thought most of the day. Trapped in his own head. It hurt but it kept replaying. The f-slur was always roaming around behind him and he really wondered why that word affected him so much.

He didn't realize he had been avoiding Wyatt subconsciously until he started to cross the hallway when the boy came into sight. He paused for a moment at the realization but forced his legs to keep moving. Why was he avoiding Wyatt? It's not like he was going to do anything to him.

'He called him a faggot.'

Fuck. Why did that matter so much to him? Why did it make his stomach spin like he was going to puke? Why did it make his chest feel heavy?

What is wrong with me? I need to snap out of it.

He caught Jess's eye between second and third hour. The dark haired boy smiled a little when they first made eye contact but it soon turned concerned. He walked across the hall and started walking next to Zack, who slowed his pace on instinct when the boy fell in step next to him.

"Are you okay?"

Zack nodded. "Yeah, I'm just-" He sighed. "I'm nervous about the game, I guess."

He felt the guilt begin to settle in. He hated lying but he felt even worse lying to Jess. He wasn't sure why he was beating himself up so much not telling the truth to Jess but there was nothing he could do.

What could he have said? 'I feel like shit because I'm keep thinking about Wyatt calling that boy the f slur. It's like I'm in physical pain over a word that shouldn't even affect me.' That would've made him seem weird and for whatever reason he really cared what Jess thought of him.

"Are you sure?" Jess looked like he wasn't sure he fully believed him. Although when Zack nodded he just seemed to accept it. "It'll be okay. I bet you guys will do great."

Jess attempted a bigger smile than usual but it wasn't his pretty smile. He squeezed Isaac's upper arm before quickly pulling his hand away. Zack's whole right left side lit up after the contact. He knew Jess was trying to comfort him so he smiled his best back.

"Thanks."

Jess still looked concerned when they went their separate ways. Isaac sighed to himself. He felt like shit for no good reason. He needed to get himself together.

After third hour Zack made a quick stop at Jess's locker and stuck a little package of cheese itz in there. He then started heading to class but was interrupted when someone gripped his arm. Jace pulled him into the nearest bathroom. Ki was right behind them.

"Okay, man, you've been acting weird all day." Jace said as they settled into the quiet room. It smelled like fruity cologne.

"Yeah, dude, what's up? You can tell us what's bothering you or you can run off and do something else to make yourself but you can't just keep wallowing like this. It isn't healthy." Ki said with a soft voice. This was a big change from the boy that had been joking around all morning while trying to muster a smile out of Zack.