The Fuck Buddy Agreement- muke.

|| 1.6 ||

Edited
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Sweat was forming on my forehead and somehow I can't breathe .

First of all things I like ashton but ... I like Michael too.

It's confusing me , but whenever I'm with ash , he makes me feel like as if I'm the only one he'll ever notice .

I love him yes , but as a friend and strictly friends

And with Michael , gosh with him feelings I have never felt before ignite all across my body sending tingles .

He's different , he can be an annoying , cocky guy .

But he has times with me where we both can be crazy , and I thank him for that . I really thank him for that .

No , I don't love him ... I like him and just starting to fall .

I didn't even knew that I was just still sitting at the stool when mum called me .

" hey baby , ashton's here ... And tell me why does he look sad . That kid hardly even frowns! " she kept rambling about Ashton and walked upstairs to God knows where .

My hands were clammy and sweaty when I saw a familiar curly head .

Frowning when I saw his face through the window , his eyes were a bit red and swollen , almost as if he cried ... Did he?

But that wasn't even all he played with his fingers and I saw a glimpse of his wrists , scars very evident . Very fresh and it looked like it was about to spill scarlet droplets of blood .

" That's it " I mumbled while stepping on the front door and opened it only just to meet surprise , Ashton and cold air that flew across my face .

" lukey? W-why are you crying? " he whispered but still audible to hear .

Is he stupid? Is the sky green? Is the grass fucking blue? This little--

" luke? " he asked again but more of a firmer tone , more of demanding me then asking .

" Because you did that again Ashton! That god forsaken thing! " I didn't even notice that I was breathing deeply and tears were already falling .

He knew what it was , he looked down and ' secretly ' hid his wrists .

" I don't know what your saying " he knew what he was doing , he fucking knows .

He was testing my patience.

I let out a shaky breath and laughed humorlessly

" okay then fine! I did it ... Are you fucking happy now luke? "

" Why? "

" You , you- I love you Luke . But seeing that guy with you in his arms made me mad wait scratch that it made me furious " he looked like he can take down a 20 feet building .

He loves me?

" You love me? " I glanced at him , his facial features now softening up .

He smiled and replied simply with a nod .

" wow , you love me "

" I did it because I knew you weren't going to love me . "
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// hard to update , schools starting in like 1 day , bear with me 😁 \\